Learning to See Things in a New Light

The roles of husbands and wives have changed a great deal over the years. It used to be the rule that men went to work and women stayed home. Families where larger then so that everything got done. Then there was a lot more to do. I'm glad I'm not a housewife at the turn of the century although there are some things that I wish were still used from day to day. Life today is rather hectic with all of the new technology and everything else that's supposed to make life easier.

I am a housewife and mother in the year 2010. It's nothing like reruns of "Leave It To Beaver" or "Little House on The Prairie." It no way resembles "Desperate Housewives" or any other family or non family oriented show. The days all seem to start with a wife coming downstairs into a the kitchen fully dressed and ready for the day. She then makes breakfast for an entire family without breaking a sweat. The days are filled with some light housekeeping of homes that never appear to get so much as a speck of dust in them. If I had to pick a show my life resembled it'd be close to "Roseanne" even though this isn't actually my reality.

The working poor is where I'd fall. I can have all the preferences for brands that I want. I just can't always manage to fit them in my budget however. There are times when the things we have are what we have no choice but to get by with. The generic versions are often tried and usually settled on. That is when we can find one that is the same as its name brand counter part. Some things like laundry detergent, dish liquid and shampoo don't work the same in the off brand. Using things that don't work in these areas can cost you more money than you bargained on.

Three husbands, two daughters and a step daughter isn't the picture that I had in my head as a child. It's what I have though. I wouldn't change it for the world. The journey to get here was a long one but it was well worth it looking back on it. Where I am today isn't the most glamorous place in the world but it's my place and I'm happy. I am the modern version of a housewife and mother. While I'm at home all day long for the most part I don't scurry to meet every ones every whim and I do actually work.

I work from home making for a rather interesting if not hectic day. You see while only one of my children is at home she is a bit of a challenge. She has Autism, the diagnosis isn't the end of the world but it does make life a bit more interesting. My weeks run together. Two days a week I get her ready to go to a half day preschool in the afternoon. Two mornings a week, one of them before preschool she goes to speech therapy for thirty minutes. Then one day a week she goes to two hours of Applied Behavior Analysis in the morning and forty-five minutes of Occupational therapy that afternoon. That takes care of four out of seven days during the week, at least part of them.

Every morning instead of getting up and getting ready before anyone my husband is now off to work before I wake up. He's a crossing guard at the moment, so he's home about an hour or so after we get up and leaves again in the afternoon. If I got up with him I'd always be exhausted. My day begins with a pot of coffee and no breakfast. I get the baby up to give her breakfast hoping that she won't have a tantrum over it. Then it's time to hopefully get half a dozen nutritional supplements into her. This is always fun she's learned to spit so she only gets the chew-ables when she's in a good mood since the crusher broke. I've got to find a liquid or powder version to mix in her syringe. The syringe causes tantrums most days; they've become less frequent than they once were.

Lunch is usually leftovers since cooking can be rather difficult with a small child that refuses to leave the kitchen and loves to grab things. The crock pot is one of my best friends, I can put it on and go to bed. In the morning or mid morning depending on when I put it on my meal is done without a lot of fuss. Whatever we have to eat has to keep a couple things in mind such as the budget and the fact that the baby is on a special diet.

My dryer broke so now if it rains I can't get any laundry done. It's not unusual to have to do four to five loads of laundry in one day to catch up when it's been raining for a while. I have an indoor clothes line that it takes clothes two days to dry on in the worse case scenario. I prefer to let my clothes soak before I run the wash cycle. I don't know why that's just what I like to do, the clothes seem to be cleaner when I let them soak. Since the clothes are hung out I leave them outside all day long when it gets hotter. In the winter smaller loads grace the line since it's rather difficult to tell if they're wet or frozen.

My grandmother used to make home made dumplings and buy canned biscuits. I can make both although unlike my grandmother I have the option of going to the grocery store for all my food needs. I think it's rather sad that things are no longer made from scratch but it's not possible to make everything from scratch now. The time that it takes to do everything from start to finish doesn't seem to be had by even the most dedicated housekeeper anymore. I love the fact that you can buy mixes for the complicated things and have them taste incredible but I'd also love it if I had the time to use fresh ingredients and start from the beginning every time I cook.

I don't sit around and watch soap operas all day long but I do watch television. I have found that folding laundry can be soothing if you're watching something that you enjoy. I have found that waiting to clean the floors until everyone is out of the house or asleep keeps them clean just a few minutes longer than they would have been with everyone awake. I work from home too. This means that when I take a break for an hour or two it isn't always a break.

Working from home is part of the housewife's new role. Not every mother can find the strength to leave their children when they're little no matter how badly they may need her income. There are also mothers that have children with special needs or can't afford the daycare they'd have to pay to go out into the workforce. The most productive times are the nap time and after bedtime. During the day there are little hands fighting me for the use of my keyboard. Chasing a small child out of the kitchen, bathroom and a dozen things they find to get into during the day is a full time job in itself.

I do not and will not do everything on my own. I am not a maid (they get a paycheck) and I am not my husband's mother. He was supposed to be all grown up when I inherited him. This means that he should be able to do simple things like make his own meals, wash his dishes and do some of his own laundry. Leaving his things lying around the house for me to pick up isn't tolerated. I have been told I'm too picky to help. Little things like rehanging the clothes and rewashing the dishes can tend to annoy people.

I don't get up first to make sure my hair and makeup are perfect. I tend to my child and I take care of my home while making a living doing something I love to do. I'm not considered to be traditional by any means but I am today's version of the housewife like it or not.