Learning Through Our Hardships

There are times in our lives when we are faced with problems. Sometimes we are able to solve those problems other times it just seems to be too much for us to handle. We always try to analyze things until we figure out where we went wrong and find the solution to our problems. But when we don't find those answers right away we always think there is no way to get through our problems and sometimes dwell on them and it seems like we are drowning in them.

Sometimes when you cannot figure out what the solution to our problem is is because we come at it from the same perspective. Albert Einstein said "No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it." Too often we go over the same issues over in our minds. We try to analyze everything that is happen with the same mindset, but a lot of the time the answer is in looking at things from a different viewpoint. Whenever we deal with something troubling or a hardship, we tend to turn to other people asking them for advice whether it is family, friends, or church. Some people even look for advice from newspaper columns such as "Dear Abby." Why is it that we cannot see how life's hardships can be solved, yet we think other people can? Could it be that the other people looking in have a different viewpoint, a different connection to the situation? A lot of time we are all stuck trying to hold onto the past whether it is a person we love, a job we gave up, an opportunity we let pass us by or whatever we try to hold on to it. Hold onto some of our failures; I know I'm guilty of that. We are constantly looking back instead of looking forward. We want to keep trying to either wedge our feet into the door close or bust down the door that has already been close. When we do that we don't notice all the doors that are being open to us. Why do we do that? Why can't we let things go and try to break through the closed doors. Why can't we just let go and accept the way things are? Especially if it hurts so bad. We try to listen to our brains more than allowing our hearts to speak, or even listening to our hearts too much instead of our brains.

In her book Broken Open Elisabeth Lesser said we don't let our hearts to speak because we live in a society that stresses intellectual understanding rather than emotional intelligence. Too often we think or emotions and feelings are untrustworthy and we cannot experience reality if we listen or rely on our emotions and feelings. It's almost as if we really don't allow ourselves to feel, but to think about the solution to our troubles. I think we feel more stress and struggle more because we don't let ourselves actually feel. What if...maybe...some of the hardships and struggles we go through don't have a solution other than to feel. To experience the pain and heartache? Maybe we NEED to feel. Maybe we need to experience the feelings and emotions that go along with going through the pains of life. While some people think emotions and feelings are untrustworthy and we can't rely on them that much; I think sometimes we need to rely on our emotions to experience life. What is life if you don't experience the emotions and feelings that go with it? Why do we have to try and hide how we feel and the emotions that sometimes rage inside us? Sometimes what we need to do to find the solution to our problems and find the connections with our friends and families is to listen to both our hearts and brains, not just one.

"It's a deeper life. A life of connection to people on a more real level." Are the relationships we share in life real? Or something else. That is something we all should think about especially when we are going through a difficult time. The quote is a part of a woman's story of overcoming a hardship she had in her life. I think many times we go through these hardships and hard times so that we can strengthen the connections we have with people. Since being diagnosed with cancer and then told I was cured, I know my connections with people in my life have been different. Some are so much stronger, deeper and as the woman said, more real. We go through awful things to learn how to live a new life and become more connected with the people in our lives because we come to realize how important they are to us. Our connections to the people in our lives get stronger get...more personal when we allow them into our lives during the struggles. The people who were there every step of the way during my cancer are the people I feel the closest to while those who turned away the connection...doesn't seem as real. Even the connections I have made afterwards, there are some that feel like the level is more real than others and I'm not sure why that is. It is easier for me to allow people in and get a better glimpse of who I am and what makes me tick. Through all our hardships and happy times, it's the connection to those around us that matters. Even when we feel we need space and don't want to talk to people...we need to keep those connections alive before the fade and become less real.

If we don't have the connections we share with the people in our lives what do we actually have? When we come to the realization that those connections aren't real and seem to be a shadow of something else, everything seems empty. We feel a sense of lose like we are missing something important in our lives. We need to pay attention to how those connections are affecting our lives and how our lives affect those connections. The Broken Open says something interesting, "Nothing that happens is to be ignored. Everything requires attention and mindfulness. There are spiritual gems to be recovered from the difficult challenges." We need to pay attention to everything we are going through whether it is good or bad. Too often we want to pay attention to the good and accept the good going on in our lives, but we never pay attention to the difficult things happening in our lives. We don't notice when the relationships we have in life those their connection.

We all go through things in life, things that are difficult and hard to find the light through. While we go through these things we need to look up and pay attention. We need to stand strong and face everything head on whether or not we are afraid of what would happen or not. We need to pay attention and see what we can learn from these difficult times through a mindful understanding. The things we learn through our difficult times and the ways we change through them are spiritual gems. Too often we try to hide and bottle the bad stuff up only to have it all explode on us ten times worse. We cannot ignore things that are happening to us. We need to accept things for the way they are and accept it all as is.

We never know how important it is to surrender to the things life grants us whether it is good or bad. We only understand the full importance when we go through a difficult period. We will still try to hide things, but we will begin to learn the importance everything holds in our lives and we will begin to surrender ourselves to everything.