Learning to Walk by Faith with Questions

Being a Crone is interesting in and of itself. Being a Crone in the Bible Belt South adds another interesting leaf to that tree. And when you throw in a smidgen of being a Fag Hag, well, you sure nuff gonna be turning some heads.

So who is the crazy woman and how did she find herself as this even more crazy person. Well, life happened and I looked around and decided that life was worth taking a chance on.

Let's start at the beginning.

I was born into a very loving family. Daddy was part of a Gospel trio and while still in diapers, I was taken to various churches while he and his brothers sang. As I grew, I was taught to both fear and love God. I was taught that God had a special place for those that didn't obey him and that it was bad and if you landed there, you couldn't escape. I learned that part of God's commandments was I had to do everything my Mother and Father said.

I was saved and filled with the Holy Spirit at an early age and by the time I was in my mid to late teens I was teaching a Sunday school class and the Children's Church. I found that using my imagination in telling Bible stories kept the kids in their seats and quiet.

Anyway, the more I grew, the more I studied and I actually started doing something that was unheard of in my family, I began to question my faith and the faith of my parents.

It wasn't long before I found myself not getting answers, just the canned ones like, "You're not studying the bible enough." Or my favorite, "God will reveal himself to you if you will only seek him hard enough."

Hard enough? Did I have to sweat blood in order to be worthy of God through my seeking? Please, any God that is that secretive is definitely hiding something and I wanted to know what it was.

So I stopped going to church, slowly of course, but eventually I was no longer what was considered a good Christian girl.

Anyway, I would buy this book and that book, ask questions to people I barely knew and eventually was turned in the direction of Witchcraft and Paganism.

It wasn't an easy road to start down, not when you lived in the middle of the Bible Belt of this country. Where good ole boys still ran the government and even in this day and age, they figured the women folk should be at home with a brood of kids, and maybe even one more on the way.

No, I had to do a lot of research, sometimes in private. The bookstores at the time had precious few good books on the subject, but with a lot of care and hard work, I found those books that I still fall back on to this day. For those that are wondering, the books were by Scott Cunning ham. I suggest them to all those that come to me for information on this path.

Anyway, I wanted to learn all I could, and I found even more information in used bookstores. And it was at one of these used bookstores that I first discovered Tarot cards. My first deck, however came through the mail. I was a big fan of Starlog (anyone remember those?) and they had a deck advertised as The Fantasy Tarot. I sent off for them and to this day, is one of my favorite decks to use.

Anyway, where was I. (Might be a good time to just let you know that as a Crone, I reserve the right to be addle brained at time due to age. I've earned it so be patient.) Oh yeah.

I have traveled this path of being a Southern Crone for over 25 years. I've had my ups and my downs. I have had a crisis of faith just like a good Christian has at times. (and don't bother saying Christians don't have a crisis of faith, that would be lying and you know what the bible says about lying.)

I've been a student and a teacher. I've nurtured new souls and helped old ones cross over from this dimension. I've laughed and cried just like everyone else has done in this world. I've been an activist on both sides, liberal and conservative. I've loved and have been loved. And I feel I've only just begun.

Now about the Fag Hag part. Baby, if you are gay, lesbian or transsexual, I love you. I believe you are in a very unique position to be closer to being a balanced soul than anyone claiming to be straight. Let me be your friend, your confident and your shoulder to cry on when you need it. There is no condemnation here, no finger pointing. Just a safe place to rest your head when you are weary and need a moment to catch your breath.

And I make a killer glass of iced sweet tea.