Leave Britney Alone!

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the set of the sitcom How I Met Your Mother the other day. As Britney Spears was shooting a cameo for an episode, a herd of crazed paparazzi swarmed the set and hung around all day waiting for-something to happen. A loud and messy public meltdown? Vomiting? Sexually molesting a unsuspecting cameraman? Maybe all three? Who knows? But hey, these obsessed pseudo-journalists were ready to capture every awful, cringe-inducing moment. (By the way, did I mention that this one-shot episode was a ratings blockbuster? Sigh.)

Enough.

Shut. The. Hell. Up.

Leave Britney Alone! (My God, did I just type that? Argh.)

It's disgusting. No, not Britney Spears. I'm almost feeling sorry for the besieged bony big-bucks blond bimbo, in spite of myself.

At worst, the narcissistic, spoiled-rotten Ms. Spears is a boring irritant who can't plummet from the pop culture radar fast enough to suit me. But what I find disgusting is the obsessive Britney Spears media frenzy that's hijacked TV, newspapers, magazines, and the blogsphere. For the past few years (centuries?), Britney Spears has found herself in an angry world full of impatient hands that can't wait to cast the first stone, and it needs to stop.

Britney Spears isn't Public Enemy Number #1. Oh sure, Britney is rich, but she isn't a part of the moneyed juggernaut that squeezes the lives of poor and middle-income people into ashes, if only because she's too damn lazy. Why should I be pissed off at Britney Spears? She's not outsourcing jobs, or eliminating medical benefits. Britney goes to parties, gets drunk, shows up late to child custody hearings, and attacks innocent vehicles with an umbrella. It wasn't the hard-partying pop singer who, for example, ripped off the life savings of the loyal employees who worked for Enron, was it? It was the late Ken Lay, and the old dead crook didn't get a fraction of the media attention that Britney does on a daily basis. (What's that? Did I hear somebody say out there say "Ken Who?" Christ.)

Please, folks, let's have some perspective. I think it's important to know who our real enemies are, and not waste our time, energy, and oxygen on the wrong targets. Hopefully, the rabid talking heads of Fox, CNN, MSNBC, and other news media outlets will get the memo.

Oh, maybe they already did. It seems that the media horde is moving on from covering Britney to following Miley Cyrus instead. Miley is the new Flavor of the Month. How long before somebody posts a YouTube video screaming, "Leave Miley Alone!"?