Leaving

Leaving a relationship is never easy, it's a situation that no one wants to deal with. When questioning if your in a bad relationship, it can cause so much more stress and heartache than in a "normal situation". I'm not just another armchair counselor, I know I've been there.

It was summer, I was young and foolish. The world was at my feet as it tends to be when your eighteen and just starting out your life. The world couldn't touch me, and my parents still didn't know anything. That's when I met "him", the one, the man for me. The attraction was instant, and so were all the Hollywood fireworks. He was so smart, funny and attractive, and he always knew the right thing to say. The kind of romance you would only read about and I was living it. Unfortunately, that didn't last very long. Things started to slowly sour, so slowly and perhaps part in due to my naivety at that time, I didn't notice until I was too consumed.
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At the time, while I still thought he was amazing, the friends and family that hadn't been slowly cut off, and taken from my life started to mention things to me that I either couldn't or didn't want to see. All I had seen was an amazing and intelligent man, who seemed head over heals for me. Yeah, we fought but, all couples fight don't they? Well, no not like that. What my friends and family saw is something I couldn't have. He was slowly taking all of my self esteem from me. Calling me names that one should never call another human being, names people in love whom respect each other don't say. He would drag me around and all the while "illustrate" both verbally and physically what I "was doing wrong". He was in fact, an abuser. I slowly started to awaken from my false perception, when things finally had blown apart, I knew then I was in trouble.

I had moved in with him by this time. I had originally called my family to help, but the phone was ripped away, again with him "explaining" why exactly it was I was overreacting. By the time I had gotten downstairs, a neighbor to whom I shall be forever grateful handed me then telephone and I again called my family, begging my mother to come and get me. By the time I was off the phone, he was downstairs. We had a final fight, the same as so many more, only this time he threw me into the street. The neighbor was watching and had called the police. Who hadn't arrived until I was gone.

Now, I've physically healed, although my knees never really stop hurting me. Mentally, I am stronger. Leaving him was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, my life had completely immersed myself with him. I just didn't realize until it was almost to late that I was drowning.

The main lession I've taken away would be not to so quickly discount what others were telling me, never get so into someone else you lose yourself. If you think or know your lover is abusing you, leave. It will be hard, but for your sake and the sake of any children involved it is truly the best thing you could do.