Leaving One Church for a New Place of Worship: When Should You Move On?

Most pastors do not regularly stand in front of their congregations and use profanity as the Obama's pastor did. Most pastors do not use phrases like, "Damn America," as Obama's pastor did. And most pastors do not spend their allotted sermon time stirring up racial bias as Obama's pastor did.

If a pastor at my church used even one of those tactics, I would be out of there, but unethical behavior by pastors is not usually as blatant as that of the Obamas' pastor. Therefore, it is sometimes not recognized as being unethical at all or overlooked as not being all that important.

While it is true that the spiritual lives of most adults will survive an occasional off-color remark by a pastor, or a sermon or two that seems to be copied from a textbook instead of being inspired by the Bible, we need to ask ourselves whether or not the spiritual lives of our children will survive.

In today's world, children are often exposed to evil far more than they are exposed to good, and, as parents, we are responsible to see if we can't turn that equation around. Church is one place we should not only expect, but should demand, that those who are lead our children are trustworthy and deserving of respect. Just because the building you worship in says, "Church," over the door, doesn't mean you can let down your guard as soon as you walk inside.

Just in case you have been thinking that it might be time for you and your family to look for a new church, keep your eyes peeled for any of the following signs.

1. Does your pastor use the Bible as the basis for his sermons?

If you have a pastor that only talks about what is going on with the economy, with the war in Iraq, and with college football, your family might as well stay home and watch a talk show on TV. You can learn about those things anywhere, but a church is where we go, or should be going to learn about God.

2. Is your pastor suddenly more interested in "empire-building" than in ministering to people?

It is very popular these days for a pastor to suddenly declare he has had a vision and that God plans for your congregation to build a new church to seat 3000 people. From that day on, his interest is in inspiring his people to donate to securing the land, building the new building, and purchasing all the latest furniture and equipment for the new building. He may even tell you that studies show that people are much more likely to join a brand new church with all the amenities than an older one that still expects its members to sit in old-fashioned pews.

3.Has the church board membership changed drastically until it includes only people who agree with everything the pastor says?

Some churches have a membership committee that makes up a roster (subject to approval by the pastor) of names to be voted on for church offices. No nominations are called for from the floor.

4. Are leadership positions filled only with people brought in from outside the church?

Usually Music Director, Worship Team Leader, Assistant Pastor, Youth Leader, Children's Pastor, and Building Maintenance Supervisor are all positions that could be filled by people who are already members of the church. If no one in the church is qualified to do these jobs, this is understandable, but if the pastor is bringing in only his friends to fill the positions, you may want to question his policy.

5. Does your pastor visit shut-ins and those who are ill, personally?

If he delegates that job to volunteers and say that he is too busy to take care of this task himself, you might want to find out just what he does with the time you are paying him for.

6. Does your pastor resort to spiritual blackmail?

By this I mean, does he ever say (or even insinuate) that those who question his vision or speak against it, are going against God's will? Has he preached sermons that seem to place ministers in a place of much higher importance than anyone else and indicate that decisions made by a pastor are never to be questioned?

7. Has your pastor re-directed funds designated for one purpose to another?

Has he ever changed the rules after an offering is taken for a specific cause? This happens more frequently than you might imagine. One church I know of has a weekly special offering for the needy. One of the rules about the money in this fund is that there is a limit of $300 a year to any one family unless an extreme emergency situation exists. In that case, the board is supposed to vote on whether or not to extend additional funds. The pastor of this particular church has taken funds from the box to help a youth pastor move into town, to help the youth pastor to obtain a car, to take a church family out to dinner, etc. Most church members feel that a pastor is there to preach, not to decide how to spend the money in the collection box.

8. Finally, does your pastor twist the scriptures to fit his own ideas of how things ought to be?

The Bible tells us that we are to search the scriptures to find out whether these things be true. What things? The things that are being told to us by men of God. Hold your pastor accountable. If he is not teaching truth, then stand up and say so.

If you see any of the warning signals above, it's probably time to start looking for another church. I know how hard that is, because I have had to do it more than once, myself. We hate to leave our friends; we are used to the way this particular church service is run; maybe the pastor will eventually leave, etc.

No one says you have to give up your friends. Maybe they will actually be glad that someone finally had the courage to stop listening to someone who just had the name, Pastor, on a license granted by the church, but not in his heart where it really needed to be. Nothing is stopping you from meeting them outside the church to have coffee or lunch.

You got used to this church-you can get used to another one.

And, unfortunately, if you wait around for your pastor to leave, your kids may be grown and gone, along with the chance to influence them spiritually.