Legalizing Abandonment Creates More Problems Than it Solves
It looks like many states have decided to step up their efforts to recruit adoptable babies.
In my home state, advertisements for the Safe Haven Infant Protection Act have been airing on a popular pop/rock radio station for months. Now a flurry of posters promoting legalized abandonment are prominently displayed in at least three area shopping malls.
Does anyone really believe that so-called "Safe Havens" are beneficial to scared young mothers and their infants? I'm as much a sucker for babies as the next person, but allowing just anyone to anonymously deposit a newborn at a police station or hospital seems downright dangerous to me.
The offending posters proclaim, "No shame, no blame, no names," and the accompanying radio ads tell mothers that if they are feeling hopeless and alone, they can count on Safe Haven to solve their problems. Perhaps the immediate issue - being a new mother with no support system - is resolved, but I find it hard to believe that these women are better off in the long run. Having spent years working with mothers who surrendered children for adoption, I know that being separated from one's child takes its toll on a person. The same can be said for children taken from their parents in early infancy: it is a loss that should not be taken lightly.
Opening another can of worms, most Safe Haven laws in the United States make provisions for anyone to drop off an infant at a designated safe place. That means fathers (who want to shirk child-support), grandparents (who are embarrassed of their daughter's unwed pregnancy) and other sociopaths can bring in a baby without the family's consent. Sure, there is a grace period during which a parent can come forward to raise the baby, but only if he or she is brave enough to face an uphill custody battle with the state's child protection office.
So who does stand to gain from the promotion of Safe Haven? No surprise here: politicians and state governments use this dangerous Act to secure federal funding and reelection. While politicians who advocate these laws garner support from a short-sighted public horrified by "dumpster babies" in the news, the state passes the newborns through the child protection system and into adoptive homes, earning between 4000-6000 federal dollars per infant in adoption bonuses. No wonder I've seen so many ads in New Jersey; last year this state received one of the top two highest adoption pay outs. The powers that be must be striving for #1 this year!
In all seriousness; there are ways to protect infants from abandonment while also helping their mothers cope with the challenges of parenting. Some promising proposals include an anonymous counseling center to help mothers with postpartum depression, financial aid and support services for low-income parents, a "safe house" program for pregnant teens who feel unable to disclose their pregnancies, and most importantly, easy access to contraception and abortion to keep unwanted pregnancies from resulting in unwanted children.
To quote the offensive advertisements, "There's a safe haven." But there shouldn't be.
In my home state, advertisements for the Safe Haven Infant Protection Act have been airing on a popular pop/rock radio station for months. Now a flurry of posters promoting legalized abandonment are prominently displayed in at least three area shopping malls.
Does anyone really believe that so-called "Safe Havens" are beneficial to scared young mothers and their infants? I'm as much a sucker for babies as the next person, but allowing just anyone to anonymously deposit a newborn at a police station or hospital seems downright dangerous to me.
The offending posters proclaim, "No shame, no blame, no names," and the accompanying radio ads tell mothers that if they are feeling hopeless and alone, they can count on Safe Haven to solve their problems. Perhaps the immediate issue - being a new mother with no support system - is resolved, but I find it hard to believe that these women are better off in the long run. Having spent years working with mothers who surrendered children for adoption, I know that being separated from one's child takes its toll on a person. The same can be said for children taken from their parents in early infancy: it is a loss that should not be taken lightly.
Opening another can of worms, most Safe Haven laws in the United States make provisions for anyone to drop off an infant at a designated safe place. That means fathers (who want to shirk child-support), grandparents (who are embarrassed of their daughter's unwed pregnancy) and other sociopaths can bring in a baby without the family's consent. Sure, there is a grace period during which a parent can come forward to raise the baby, but only if he or she is brave enough to face an uphill custody battle with the state's child protection office.
So who does stand to gain from the promotion of Safe Haven? No surprise here: politicians and state governments use this dangerous Act to secure federal funding and reelection. While politicians who advocate these laws garner support from a short-sighted public horrified by "dumpster babies" in the news, the state passes the newborns through the child protection system and into adoptive homes, earning between 4000-6000 federal dollars per infant in adoption bonuses. No wonder I've seen so many ads in New Jersey; last year this state received one of the top two highest adoption pay outs. The powers that be must be striving for #1 this year!
In all seriousness; there are ways to protect infants from abandonment while also helping their mothers cope with the challenges of parenting. Some promising proposals include an anonymous counseling center to help mothers with postpartum depression, financial aid and support services for low-income parents, a "safe house" program for pregnant teens who feel unable to disclose their pregnancies, and most importantly, easy access to contraception and abortion to keep unwanted pregnancies from resulting in unwanted children.
To quote the offensive advertisements, "There's a safe haven." But there shouldn't be.
Published by Jessica DelBalzo
I am a mother, writer and activist from Flemington, New Jersey. My writing has been published by Clamor, Eclectica and many local and not-so-local newspapers. View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentI was adopted a long time ago and am now in my 50's. I never think about it. I had the most wonderful parents in the world. Being adopted was presented to me in a very positive manner, and I am wondering why some adoptees have such a problem with it. My question is: Did the parents, siblings or other people in their lives talk about adoption in a negative way or throw that in their face? I believe there is too much analyzing of this issue. I was always told how I looked like my family, had wonderful talents, etc. I had no abandonment issues. There is too much labeling on this topic. Check out your Bible and see what God says about adoption, abandonment, etc. Moses was adopted and became very famous. Joseph was famous too. It is God who put you together, and everybody in the whole world too. God is our Father and never makes mistakes. People make mistakes. Forgive anyone who has said something negative to you about adoption or things you read in papers that a
It seems that one aspect of these anonymously abandoned babies that's never considered is what happens when they grow up? Since they don't know who gave birth to them they could conceivably grow up to marry their own brother, sister, father or mother.
Victoria said it all.
Right, and when she did get that help she needed and was able to parent her child, what would the state tell her? Probably that her child was better off with someone else. A mother needs help AND her baby. If you take away her baby, she'll only need more help. Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Also, to one of the comments down there about adoptive kids being happy wiht their adoptive parents. I am very happy with mine and I know that this is the best place for me. They have done a great deal for me. I have NO use to find my mother but if I wanted to my parents would be more than happy to help me.
I believe that all these people who are putting the Safe Haven Law down, are not looking to the other side of things. I am adopted and seventeen years ago I was left in a trashcan. I was resently on The Montel Williams show and you don't see my mother or father coming forward for any of this. I wish my mom would of left me at a firestation or something to that sort. Yeah, I know I was found but still for all those babies who aren't this law is helping. Yes, it isn't fair to the fathers. But, I was left in a trashcan and my father still isn't anywhere. Then also about the people adopting kids. My adoptive parents have been doing foster care and adoptiong for 26 years and have adopted four. Not all of the foster parents turn out to be bad, more are very good. In that case, they need to do a more intensive check on the parents. I believe these laws would help a LOT more if people knew about them.
Your entire stance on adoption is grossly one-sided. You seem to think that adoption automatically entails a child being snatched away from their parents and forced to live with a pale substitute who could not possibly be a patch on the real thing.
The truth is that this is NOT often the case. There are many many adopted children who are very happy with adopted parents and who have no interest in seeking out their natural parents.
Parenting is not a matter of whether a child has your genes or not, but whether you are ready to give that child a safe and secure haven that it would not otherwise have. You should rethink your prejudices and realise that adoption can have a happy ending for many parents and children.
I am sorry that you would prefer an unborn baby be killed so that fathers, grandparents and sociopaths would not be able to bring a baby to a safe haven. The law may not be perfect but it is better than leaving a baby in a dumpster or resorting to abortion. Your plan of an anonymous counseling center is unlikely to help the group of moms you are targeting. These women are too overwhelmed to figure out what to do with their baby let alone come in for "counseling" for postpartum depression. And if you think money will solve the problem, it won't. Most of the mothers who abandon babies would have qualified for state aid. Again, you have missed the psychological reasons a mom would abandon her baby. There are no easy solutions to complex emotional issues. But while we figure out how to best help that mom, at least the baby can be in a safe place.