Lesson to Learn in Love: Part 12

I am not even going to touch on qualities that men look for. First of all (I really know what they are but...) I am not a man. I want to emphasize what a good, wholesome, God fearing, Christian woman seeks in a man. I know some of my friends and followers may not have the same beliefs as I do, but when it comes down to it, these types of women (and men) are really and truly the type that we long for. They are the type that we could have a long lasting relationship with.

Funny how I have absolutely no dating experience, really. I mean I dated a little between the ages of 14-17. From then, I married. As most of you know, I moved in with my (now ex) husband not even a month after I met him. My dating experiences are zilch. However, I know quite a bit about relationships and what a woman looks for in a man. I was in that relationship for 11 years and I was married to him for 8. I believe that qualifies me.

Since my separation almost 3 years ago and my divorce, which will be 2 years in August, I have really made a lot of self discoveries. I have had the time to pan out what I really desire in a man. I definitely do not want to make the same mistakes again. You are not being selfish in doing this. You are actually being unselfish, because if you don't know what is important for you, no one else will. It will not only hurt you in the long run, but it will hurt others, especially him.

You never ever want to fall in love with someone having high expectations of them. If they don't have the qualities that you are looking for, then it's only fair to the both of you that you look elsewhere. Yes, it's that important. If you don't, that means that you are bringing high expectations into the relationship. You are anticipating that they will change into what you are expecting of them.

To me a woman first seeks a God fearing man. I know I do. If he is not God fearing, he is rebellious and weak. A man who doesn't love God, couldn't possibly love me. It is important to me that a man loves the Lord because according to the Bible that I read, a husband would be my head and God would be his. If he is not God fearing then God could not be his head. Therefore, the rule of Godly authority is null. There is no way that I could go through that again. A selfish and ungodly man is very unattractive to me.

He must love others. For some reason this is just as or may even be a little more important than actually loving me. I say that because one thing that turns me on the most when it comes to a quality man is one that loves other people, especially children, and more so his own. If a man is not sincere in his love for kids, forget it. I don't want that again. This goes hand in hand with loving the things that I love, but that is for another article.

I find passive and unenthusiastic men unattractive. I cringe at go-with-the-flow types. Why? Been there, done that. I like a man to keep me straight, put his foot down, to be bold and steadfast. This falls in line with God's order. With that said, it has nothing to do with control or manipulation, either. There is a Godly love that comes with it. Any man who truly follows God and His teachings will understand what loving his wife like Christ loves the Church means.

A genuine sense of humor. This is a must quality because I love to laugh. I love a man who can lay it all out there, including his pride, just to make others laugh. He is not afraid to laugh about it either. This is a true sign that he is real.

He MUST know what he wants and be a go-getter. Iffy men are unattractive. Why? Again, been there done that! It's ok to have dreams for yourself and aspirations. However, if they are bigger than the simple necessities that you need to provide for your family on a day to day basis, that is a huge problem. A good man puts his family before his dreams. He also knows what he wants and pursues those dreams and will know that if his family is cared for, those dreams will also be his family's dreams. In other words, his wife and family will back him up all the way, so long as their needs are being met.

These are the qualities that I seek. Sure there are others who may or may not agree, but I am sure that many Christian women would agree with this. They are still out there, but a good God fearing man is hard to find.