Lessons Learned in the Online Dating Pool

Would you like some first-hand dating advice from someone who's in the same boat as you? I have been using an online dating service for awhile and have learned some things along the way. These are all taken from my own personal dating experiences. I'm sharing these tips because I made a lot of mistakes in the beginning and don't want others to do the same. We all screw up and and learn from our mistakes, but you may get farther quicker if you avoid some of the potential pitfalls.

Photos are a must

1. Specify that the user must have a photo to contact you. There are many reasons for this, one being that you need to have a basic picture of what this person looks like. When I first started my dating journey, I started chatting with this very nice guy online through the dating site. He was nice, sweet and eventually we moved on to talking on the phone. We had our first date and everything fell apart. Everything about him was nice, except that I wasn't attracted to him physically at all. I felt so bad having to cut things off, but I just couldn't continue seeing him when I felt no attraction to him. From then on, I insisted on photos.

Don't wait too long to meet up

2. When you do find someone you feel a little connection with, try to meet them A.S.A.P. The reason for this is because they have one personality when they talk to you on the phone or by text, they may be totally different in person. I spent 5 months talking and texting with someone; because we lived in different cities we hadn't had the opportunity to meet. When we finally did meet I couldn't believe how different he was in person. It was like we had nothing in common. I am laid back and easy going, and he was uptight, crabby and nit-picky. No way could I see myself being with him. But he never showed this kind of behavior in our phone conversations. I felt so let down. I wasted 5 months time on someone who wasn't right for me. So try to meet as soon as possible, even if it is just for a cup of coffee somewhere.

Understand that not everyone is looking for Brad Pitt, our attraction factors are different

3. When you send messages be prepared for the possibility that you may not get a response back. We are all different in what we are attracted to. Every person is unique and one person may be attracted to Angelina Jolie types and another may prefer witty Ellen De Generes types. Generally when I get email messages, if there is no interest on my part I don't respond. I respond to the ones that I do feel some interest in. It's like receiving mail, if someone sends you an offer for a credit card and you're interested in getting it, you'll send back the application. If not you'll throw it away and that's it. It's not personal, there's just no interest. Don't get offended if someone doesn't return an email.

Don't get plastered

4. On a first date keep alcohol consumption to a minimum. It's natural to feel nervous and anxious just before a date, but it's not a good idea to self-medicate with booze. My first date with the gentleman from above went like this; I had a couple drinks before he arrived just to feel a little more relaxed. I hadn't eaten anything because we were going for dinner. I had 2 drinks with dinner and then we went out to a club afterwards. Well I've give you the short version of what went wrong...... Too many drinks, not enough food in my stomach, got sick and threw up on him and in his car. Major embarrassment. Then I had to tell him I wasn't attracted to him and couldn't keep seeing him. But after what had happened, I think he was Ok with that.

So keep these tips in mind when going out on a first date, learn from my mistakes. Eat a light snack before going out; keep alcohol to a minimum of 2 drinks and no more. If you're nervous or anxious, try a little meditation. !5 minutes or so and you'll be a lot more relaxed.