Lessons I Learned Over Saturday’s Fish Soup

Parents are always parents, no matter how old or mature their children become, parents are always there to give a little piece of advice or fill the gaps in life with wisdom learned with years of parenting experience. Parenting also spans generations. Grandparents teach grandchildren just as parents teach nieces and nephews. As the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a family. My favorite parenting muse was my grandfather. In his mid 70s he was sprite and full of wisdom far beyond my years. He was also the best cook in the entire world.

The Start of Saturday Fish Soup

One Saturday I walked to Grans's house to see if he needed anything. As I walked through the door I smelled the most amazing food. I walked into the kitchen and there was Grans chopping carrots and celery. I asked what was on the menu for lunch and he replied, "Some of the best fish soup you'll ever taste." From that day forward I joined Grans for fish soup every Saturday afternoon. As he aged his taste buds lost their former greatness, but despite the piping hot bowl of fish and liquid magma (Grans loved black pepper a little too much) he started serving in his 80s, I never missed a Saturday.

Life Lessons Grans-Style

One Saturday afternoon sitting at Grans's old wooden kitchen table, long after the fish soup started tasting more like black pepper laced with fish broth, he offered the first of many life lessons I would learn. The lessons continued until the Saturday before my grandfather passed away. I still remember that bowl of fish soup, it tasted like I'd remembered on that first Saturday so many years before.

"It's not the dime that matters, it's the time."

Grans used to love offering bits of advice that rhymed. Sitting at that old table, he placed a dime in front of me and slid it right up to my bowl of fish soup. He asked me what it was. A dime, I replied as if he was asking me the dumbest question in the world. Yep, it's a dime and if I give you that dime what happens? I told him he would be short a dime until he earned another one. Yep, that's right, but what happens if I give you 10 minutes of my time. I smiled and said, then you'll be out those 10 minutes forever because you can't earn more time in life. Yep, that's right. Then, he smiled. The words that followed molded my parenting and relationship style. "Anyone can spend a dime on you and make you feel special for a moment, but someone who's willing to give you his time is offering the gift of a lifetime."

"I'll take slow and sweet over fast and useless every day."

My Grans was always one to look at the details in everything. Toward the end of his life he started telling long, drawn out stories and I was a teenager who didn't want to spend the time listening to said stories, but Saturday was fish soup day so he had me from noon until whenever. The day he handed me two tomato seed packets and asked me to tell him the difference I just knew it was going to be a long day. I was right, but the lesson I learned was an invaluable part of who I am today.

I told Grans one packet produced small tomatoes that matured in about 40 days. The other packet produced huge tomatoes but they took more than 90 days to mature. When he asked me which tomato I would plant I told him the ones that grew fastest. You can get twice the number of tomatoes per season with that variety. He smiled that infectious smile and told me why I made the wrong choice.

The smaller tomatoes grew in less than half the time, but they tasted like nothing more than mush wrapped in tomato skin. The larger tomatoes took a lot more time to grow, but the fruit was sweeter than anything I could every image. Girl (he always loved calling me girl), in life it takes longer to produce the sweetest results. Don't rush things. Take your time and give a little extra love and attention to the things that matter most and they'll give you back something you'll remember for a lifetime.

There are days when I sit and look up at the sky hoping to see a glimpse of Grans's face in the clouds. He's not there because he's all around me. He's in my heart; he's in my children and he's in the faith I have that the lessons I pass on to my children will be passed on to theirs so they'll learn from me like I learned from Grans over that Saturday bowl of fish soup.

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