Lessons I Learned from Senator Ted Kennedy's Funeral Services

Senator Ted Kennedy was buried with high honors this past weekend. From the memorial service on Friday evening at Boston's JFK library through the moving funeral services with its many personal eulogies from family and friends to his final resting stop at Arlington National Cemetery, the day was filled with pomp and circumstance, tears and a bounty of images of the senator and his famous mourners.

I saw little snippets of the process as I moved through my busy life and finally managed to catch some of the more meaningful moments on that veritable source of information, You Tube, where I watched the main memorial and funeral speeches. I heard the famous and the ordinary. I heard family, friends and colleagues. I watched the faces of the audience, the crowds gathered en masse and informally along the funeral route wherever the hearse traveled. The outpouring of affection from all walks of life seemed genuine and real, not contrived. We saw a man, beloved by many, go to his grave, surrounded by those he loved the most, his wife and extended family and friends.

As an Irish lass, I much appreciated the feeling of the Irish wake on Friday and even during the funeral service on Saturday. I laughed with the audience as they listened to Senator Orrin Hatch and others regale the crowd with their personal memories of their friend and colleague, Edward "Teddy" Kennedy.

But there were some key moments when in retrospect, I see a lesson to be learned on how to live a good life and isn't that what all funerals allow us to do. I'm not a fan of funerals. I guess few of us are. I have learned in my 56 years of life, that funerals are a time to ponder, to consider the life of a person and place it in context as best we can. But they are also a place for us to consider our own life and how we stack up against the deceased. In doing so, we tuck our sails and make those minor or major adjustments to our course.

Ted Kennedy was a sailor, a lover of the seas, and his course was steered and maneuvered through a landmine and ocean of grief, sorrow, pain and loss mixed with an abundance of wealth, fame and power. Did he list to the left too far? Some will claim he did. Did he fail to keep his sails flying high and clear at times? Many claim he was a sinful man who let his sails become mired in the mud of life. Was his course plotted ahead of time and did he maintain it, as a faithful son of God? Many will say he did. What lessons can we ordinary Americans glean from the funeral of Ted Kennedy and his life as portrayed there by those who loved him and knew him best?

First of all, I was struck by the demeanor and words of his political rivals, most notably Senator Orrin Hatch from Utah. I gained new respect for Mr. Hatch as I watched him wipe away genuine tears with a large white handkerchief. His gentle smile and words were earnest and loving, full of affection for his arch rival in the senate. He told us tales of how they became the best of friends amongst the worst of times. He beguiled us with a sly smile as he recounted the stories of their disagreements and how they could battle over a bill in Congress and have an affectionate evening meal the same night.

It was a tale of how a powerful man, Senator Edward Kennedy, understood that our differences don't have to make us enemies. Senator Hatch stated clearly that Ted Kennedy fought passionately, with strong words and passionate strength to fight for what he deemed was right, but he also stated clearly that Ted Kennedy had little hate for the opposition in him. That he genuinely believed that friendship could endure between those holding opposing viewpoints.

As I listened to Senator Hatch, it confimed this belief for me. It's one I attempt to hold and emulate in my own life. As a progressive Christian liberal who lives and works amongst very conservative Christian friends and neighbors, I have learned that my love and friendship isn't based on what I believe or they believe, but on who we are as people toward each other. Ted Kennedy knew this simple truth and used it in his work in the United State Senate.

To accomplish good we sometimes have to learn to compromise but we do not have to compromise who we are. There is fine difference between the two and Senators Hatch, Kennedy, McCain and President Obama know this lesson. It's one we all could use more practice in. And it's one we rarely see these days in the political minefield of left versus right, Republican versus Democrat, blue versus red, conservative versus liberal and pundit versus pundit.

As I listened on Saturday to sons Patrick and Teddy share amazing stories and eulogies for their father, I saw two young men, who for different reasons were damaged by life. Teddy suffered from extreme asthma as a child and needed special care in many ways. He recounted his father always being there for him, holding him when he couldn't breathe, calming him when he needed to be still and breathe. He recounted how special his father made him feel and that never once did he feel he was a disappointment to his father because he couldn't be the athlete his dad had been, the football star and the sailor.

In the words of son Patrick, we heard that beautiful story of how after losing a leg to cancer, and wanting to go sledding one wintry snow filled afternoon, he couldn't walk up the hill. He shared how his father, Senator Ted Kennedy, scooped him up and held him and said these words, "You can do anything you want to do and I'm right here with you. If it takes all day, we'll walk that hill together." What an amazing message to send any child, but especially one who had already suffered so much. Senator Ted Kennedy was a patriarch,by the words of all of his nieces and nephews and children, one who never shirked from his duty to be a father, a shepherd.

Whatever his faults, parenting was of supreme importance to him. When his famous brothers, Robert and John were murdered, he assumed the role of father for their children. Caroline Kennedy has spoken eloquently about his love for her and John, her deceased brother. Ted Kennedy knew that whatever role he was called to play in the world, leading his family was of paramount importance, and not just leading them financially or figuratively.

He led them by loving them. The best fathers always do. It's hard to be a parent to your own children, but God calls us to love the world. Ted Kennedy's life demonstrates that attempt. He attempted to love the world with his leadership and his work, but his family came first. It's a balance I can learn from and apply to my own life.

Finally, the last message I learned from Senator Kennedy's life and funeral this past weekend, was that of redemption. If you aren't a Christian, then redemption may not be a concept that you understand.Put simply redemption is the process where as a sinner in the world, we go to Christ, our Savior and ask for God's forgiveness. God forgives us and instructs us to go and sin no more. At the moment of our confession, we are forgiven and God forgets our sin! We begin again, with a clean slate, a new hope, a belief that we can do good, that our life is important, that the world awaits our new deeds and actions.

Much has been said in hateful remarks from those who don't seem to understand redemption. Whatever Senator Kennedy's sins might have been, there is no doubt that he understood redemption. In those beautiful words read at his gravesite from the letter that he wrote to Pope Benedict, we hear that tone, we know his grief at his own human failing. But we also hear that he understood God's love for him.

This man, who has suffered so much, lost three brothers by the time he was 30, had to assume the role of patriarch in the most public way, at an age when he was just a young man, who fought depression, suffered a broken back and lived in physical pain all the rest of his days, continued to fight for what he truly believed was God's will for our world.

His son Teddy talked about a hotel trip where his father left a large sum of money as a tip and the son pointed out, hey Dad, you left your money there. His father told him gently that the lady who would clean up after them worked very hard for a living to support a family and that she deserved the very best.

Ted Kennedy had been raised by a rich and powerful Catholic family who had lived the American Dream. They rose from poverty through hard work and dedication to their faith. They believed that they owed much, the old adage of "To those whom much has been given, much is expected." It's a belief we don't see preached enough in today's modern world. In fact, we see the opposite much of the time.

Ted Kennedy was an imperfect man in a world where the enemy was determined to slay him, to bring him to his knees, to rob him of his faith and strength. He fought on, against that unseen enemy and those humans who do not understand the redemption of life in Jesus Christ. Sin and temptation are what we fight constantly in this world and the more powerful and strong the person, the more powerful and strong the temptations thrown at him or her. The battle for the Kennedy's has been a fierce one.

Ted Kennedy knew that his life was a gift, his mother Rose had taught him that he must serve others. He did just that. He could have spent his life on yachts and sailing boats, sailing the sea he loved so much. He could have wiled away his days in idleness and wasted the many gifts he had been blessed with. Instead he chose to serve and work and fight for the poor and oppressed of the world. In doing so, he placed himself on the firing line for all his days on earth.

His life's work stands as a testament to me, not of his political beliefs, but of his religious ones. He was a fallen man, redeemed by faith in Christ Jesus, his Lord and Savior.He chose the believe in the grace of God to save him and to be his shield in the battles he fought. As he lay in his coffin surrounded by the thousands of people who loved him, and the millions whose life he improved and fought for, it is clear that Senator Edward Kennedy is at home with his family tonight, and with the God he loved and fought for. We cannot know a man's heart by his words alone, but we can know a man's life by the words of others. Great men are few amongst us and Ted Kennedy will be remembered by history as one of those few.