Lessons for New Moms

No one told me about it. In fact, I remember a couple of well meaning friends looking sympathetically at me. But I was hardly noticing - those perfect family photos of celebrity new moms had blinded me. Besides, not many of my friends had been through motherhood and so were appropriately ecstatic and excited at the news. I actually ended up thinking that babies were like dolls - you get to admire them, play with them and watch them sleep peacefully. While the tired look of other mommies and the cries of other babies made me doubt my theories at times, I was secretly convinced that my baby was going to be that quiet angel I dreamed about.

Finally, my wonderful baby arrived and I realized that the happiness of this moment was never going to be topped. This warm feeling lasted the full two days that I stayed in the hospital, with baby being taken care of in the nursery and me getting some much needed rest.

Trouble started after I reached home with my little one. I will let you know why.

SleepDeprivation

The person who thought of the quote "Sleep like a baby" obviously had never been with a baby.

For the first couple of months, I somehow survived on just 3-4 hours of broken sleep every night. My baby was convinced that daytime was meant for sleep and nights were to be spent playing. I sought advices of doctors, looked into mommy message boards and rigorously queried Google on "baby sleep", but failed to change his habit.
I read somewhere that people with less than 4 hours of sleep for 4 to 5 days have the mentality of someone who is drunk and I certainly agree. In my new mommy days, my brain was foggy all the time and my decision making abilities had completely left me. I was cranky and silly and felt depressed most of the time.
Elders explained that babies born at night always have inverted cycles but that hardly soothed my irritated nerves. While I feared I might be the only mom this harassed, a few chats and mouse clicks assured me that I was not alone. Most of the moms felt sleep deprived in the first few months and went through that happy hell phase of first time moms.
I think the most important advice I ever received was to sleep when the baby sleeps. While initially I feared not being able to sleep in the odd hours that my baby chose, in practice my exhaustion enabled me to take quick naps at almost any time of the day.

The conclusion - keep trying to squeeze in some sleep in your schedule. Perhaps my biggest problem was not that my baby woke up every few hours but that I failed to take advantage of those hours that he slept.

Trying to be a supermom
I am not even sure who I was trying to impress with my endless work. My baby could not notice that and my husband did not mind the dirty home or dishes at all. Nevertheless, I somehow felt that I should not only take good care of my baby but also keep the house in order and cook delicacies everyday. Of course, all my maniacal attempts to be a supermom kept me tired the whole day. When coupled with little sleep, my exhaustion turned me into an irritable monster and looking back I realize that I could have made my days a lot more pleasant if I had not tried to be a perfect do-all.

Recurring Worries
I am crazy in love with my baby but back when he was a newborn, I was downright paranoid about him. I used to worry about everything. Was he sleeping right? I used to wake up between my little spells of sleep to make sure he was sleeping on his back and not his tummy. Should I take him to the mall? There are so many peoples out there - what if he falls sick? I was constantly afraid that he would catch an infection. I used to meticulously clean all his toys and pacifiers and wash my hands the whole day.What is that thing in his mouth? A slight cough would convince me that he was choking and I would go cold. Why was he not rolling yet? If he was a little late in achieving any of his development milestones, I would start worrying. Was he pooping too much, too little? Why was his pee yellow? What was that little zit like thing on his face? And do not even get me started on his weight and feedings.

No attention to self
Like most new moms, I was so over the moon in those early months that I completely forgot to acknowledge my own needs. My days were planned according to my baby's needs. This is totally understandable as a newborn demands continuous attention. However, what is not understandable is my failure to recognize that if I did not give attention to simple needs like eating and resting, I might get too weak to handle my responsibilities.
My schedule had become very erratic and I was often reminded by my husband to eat something! The result was that I felt lethargic the whole day and started falling sick easily.
Thankfully, this habit did not stick long. Once I noticed that my baby suffered if my energy suffered, I actually found time each day to not only eat right but also exercise!

So here it is. All you going-to-be-new-moms, don't tell me I did not warn you. Hopefully you will learn from my silly mistakes and make the journey of motherhood full of happiness and good health. Nothing can ever compare to that indescribable feeling of joy when you hold your baby. And as for those sleepless nights - they will pass and will be soon replaced by the tiring days that your hyperactive toddler brings about.