Let Go and Love

I wrote this poem several years ago after a series of bad relationships, and at the beginning of a promising one. That relationship has lasted almost six years and is still going strong!

I find myself fighting against my heart,
Not daring to believe it received
A much needed jump start.
I denied myself so long
The hope and joys of love
That I forgot being alone was wrong.
Now I understand that what I found
Could be right,
If only I could let my guard down
Long enough to spark alight
The pleasures of your love.

Smoky images of past hurts
Past disappointments and broken hearts
Keep catching up to me
Trying to convince me not to try,
Not to find hope in this life.
It's so safe being alone,
So free to have no home,
I can't fight these feelings
Of missing out on a real thing.
Can't fight needing to feel your love
Wanting to hear the words slip from your lips,
Natural as the sun rises.

Maybe it's the full moon
Making me feel this way,
Maybe it's a fever
Clouding the rationality of my mind.
Hope is grabbing my throat
And taking me for a ride.

It's an endless road
Living without your love
It's a hopeless cause,
Thinking I can survive alone,
Love might be crazy
But at least it makes me sane,
Gives me hope in life
Becoming meaningful again.

I'll find my peace in this again
When I feel your lips caress me
Driving me to find things
I'd believed lost forever;
I know that if hope fails me again
This time might be the last;
But I also know I need to
Give it a chance to be the best.