Let's Discuss Grades 3-6 Tale: A Mediation Session for Ellen and Her Mother

Link to story: A Mediation session for Ellen and her Mother

Link to role-play: A Mediation session for Ellen and her Mother

Twenty-Four Class Discussion Questions as a follow-up to the story called "A Mediation session for Ellen and her Mother."

1. Teacher Says or Asks: What problems did Ellen and her mother have before Ellen left for school?

Students Respond:
* Ellen wanted to have chocolate chip muffins for breakfast.
* Ellen's mother wanted her daughter to eat a more nourishing breakfast of a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.
* Since Ellen wasn't in the mood for the biscuit, it didn't taste very good. She pushed it away after only eating a few bites.
* Ellen gave her mother a mean glare.
* Ellen refused to give her mother a hug or kiss good-bye.

2. Teacher Says or Asks: What bad thing happened in Mrs. Johnson's math class?

Students Respond:
* Ellen was really hungry and couldn't concentrate on t he math lesson.
* Ellen was also feeling bad about how she had treated her mother that morning.
* Mrs. Johnson asked Ellen a question. Since Ellen wasn't listening, she couldn't answer the question.
* Mrs. Johnson sort of snapped at Ellen for not paying attention in her class.

3. Teacher Says or Asks: How did Ellen react after Mrs. Johnson snapped at her?

Students Respond: Ellen apologized for not paying attention and said she would try to do better from now on. Mrs. Johnson thanked her for her positive response.

4. Teacher Says or Asks: What did Ellen do during lunch?

Students Respond:
* Ellen hungrily ate her lunch.
* Ellen approached the lunch monitor, Mr. Hamlet, and asked for a hall pass to go visit the guidance counselor.
* Ellen went to the guidance counselor's office and asked to speak with her.
* Mrs. Taylor, the guidance counselor invited Ellen to have a seat. Then Ellen requested to have a Mediation session with her mother after school to work out their problems.
* Mrs. Taylor called Ellen's mother. She agreed to come.
* Ellen's mother had Mrs. Taylor tell Ellen that Mrs. Sawyer loved her.
* Ellen had Mrs. Taylor tell her mother that she loved her.

5. Teacher Says or Asks: When and where did the Mediation session take place?

Students Respond: The Mediation session took place in Mrs. Taylor's guidance office at 3:30 that afternoon.

6. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the first step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 1: Agree to Mediate
* That is where the Mediator, Mrs. Taylor, explains the seven rules of the Mediation process.
* She asks both disputants if they agree to follow all seven rules.
* She has both disputants sign the appropriate spot on the contract indicating that they agree to follow all seven rules.

7. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what are the seven rules of the Mediation process?

Students Respond:
Rule #1: You need to be willing to try to solve your problem through Mediation.

Rule #2: Only one person talks at a time. If you think of something you wish to say and it is not your turn to talk, write down your ideas on this piece of paper. Then when it is your turn to talk, you can share your ideas at that time." Mrs. Taylor handed both Ellen and her mother a sheet of paper on a clip board plus a pen.

Rule #3: There should be no name-calling or put-downs.

Rule #4: You both need to tell the truth.

Rule #5: There is to be no physical fighting, yelling, or throwing things.

Rule #6: Everything of a personal nature must be kept confidential.

Rule #7: If something you say would harm you, each other, or anyone else, I must report it to the principal.

8. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the second step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 2: Gather Points of View
* That is where each disputant is given the opportunity to tell their side of the story.

9. Teacher Says or Asks: What was Ellen's side of the story?

Students Respond:
* Ellen wanted to have chocolate chip waffles for breakfast.
* Her mother insisted that Ellen eat a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.
* Ellen wasn't in the mood to eat that, so it didn't taste very good.
* She pushed it away after only a few bites.
* She gave her mother a mean glare.
* Ellen refused to give her mother a hug and kiss good-bye before leaving for school.
* Ellen was so hungry during her math class that she could barely concentrate. Mrs. Johnson, the math teacher, asked Ellen a question. Since Ellen wasn't listening, she couldn't answer the question.
* Mrs. Johnson snapped at her. Ellen apologized and told her she would try to pay better attention.
* Ellen wants her mother to let her eat the food she is in the mood to eat so it will taste better.

10. Teacher Says or Asks: What was Ellen's mother's side of the story?

Students Respond:
* Ellen's mother wants her daughter to eat more nourishing food for breakfast like a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit rather than a chocolate chip waffle with syrup.
* Ellen's mother felt sad when Ellen gave her a mean look and also refused to give her a hug and kiss good-bye before she left for school.
* She was so sad about this it made her day feel very long and drawn-out.
* She was surprised to get a phone call from the guidance counselor; however, she was happy to find a way to work out things with her daughter.

11. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the third step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 3: Focus on Interests
* Mrs. Taylor, the guidance counselor, finds a way to show that Ellen and her mother want some of the same things.

12. Teacher Says or Asks: What kind of things did the guidance counselor say mother and daughter both had in common.

Students Respond:
* Ellen wanted the FREEDOM to eat what she wanted to eat for breakfast.
* Her mother wanted to FREEDOM to feed her daughter food that she considers to be more nourishing.
* So they both wanted more FREEDOM.
* Ellen did not get her BELONGING need met with her mother because she chose to give her a mean look and refuse to give her mother a hug and kiss good-bye before leaving for school.
* Her mother did not get her BELONGING need met with her daughter due to receiving a mean look and the fact that Ellen refused to give her a hug and kiss good-bye that morning. So they both wanted to have their BELONGING need met with each other.

13. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the fourth step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 4: Create WIN-WIN Options
* Ellen and her mother brainstorm potential solutions to their problem.

14. Teacher Says or Asks: There are three brainstorming rules. What are they?

Students Respond:
Rule #1: Say any idea that comes to mind, even if it might sound silly or hard to accomplish.

Rule #2: Let's not judge or discuss any of the ideas until a little later. Your ideas will be written down so we can look at them as a group during Step 5 of Mediation.

Rule #3: Be real creative. Try to come up with as many ideas as possible so we have lots of options.

15. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what kind of things Ellen and her mother suggested during their brainstorming session?

Students Respond:
* Ellen wants to be able to eat the food that she wants to eat.
* Mrs. Sawyer wants to feed Ellen more nourishing food in the morning.
* Ellen wants to apologize for giving her mother a mean look.
* Ellen wants to apologize for not giving her mother a hug and kiss good-bye this morning.
* Mrs. Sawyer wants to apologize for making her daughter feel bad about the food she had to eat this morning.
* Ellen wants to eat her favorite foods some of the time.
* Mrs. Sawyer wants Ellen to agree to eat more nourishing food some of the time.

16. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the fifth step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 5: Evaluate Options
* Ellen and her mother will evaluate the options to work out the best ideas to solve their problems.

17. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what is the sixth step of the Mediation process? How does that step work?

Students Respond:
* Step 6: Create an Agreement
* Ellen and her mother create an agreement that they are both willing to do with each other.

18. Teacher Says or Asks: Who can recall what their final agreement was?

Students Respond:
* Ellen will apologize to her mother for giving her a mean look.
* Ellen will apologize to her mother for not giving her a hug and kiss good-bye.
* Mrs. Sawyer will apologize to Ellen for making her feel bad about her breakfast option this morning.
* Ellen gets to eat chocolate chip waffles two school mornings a week.
* Ellen will agree to eat either a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit or oatmeal the other three school mornings.
* Ellen gets to choose which days she has the waffles and which days she has the other two food options.

19. Teacher Says or Asks: What is the Follow-Up step of the Mediation process?

Students Respond: They both tell what they could do to keep this kind of problem from happening again.

20. Teacher Says or Asks: What did Ellen say that she could do to keep this problem from happening again?

Students Respond:
* Ellen said she would try really hard not to give her mother mean looks.
* She would also make certain she always gave her mother a hug and kiss good-bye before leaving for school.

21. Teacher Says or Asks: What did Ellen's mother say that she could do to keep this problem from happening again?

Students Respond:
* Ellen's mother would explain to her daughter that she wants her to grow up strong and healthy as she always wants the best for her.

22. Teacher Says or Asks: What did Mrs. Taylor, the Guidance Counselor, explain was the major goal of Mediation?

Students Respond: The major goal of Mediation is to learn to resolve your own conflicts before they get too big to handle on your own.

23. Teacher Says or Asks: What did the Guidance Counselor give to both Ellen and her mother and why?

Students Respond: She gave them each a copy of the contract so they could remember what they had agreed to do.

24. Teacher Says or Asks: How did the story end?

Students Respond: The guidance counselor escorted mother and daughter to the door. She saw them give each other a hug and kiss before they left for home. She feels that everything will be okay with mother and daughter from now on.

Mini Lesson Plan: A Mediation session for Ellen and her Mother (Grades 3-6)