Letting Her Go

She's more of a girl than I am. I find myself thinking like a pseudo-guy these days. Now I know how they feel when they talk to a girl and the next day she's planning the wedding.

That sounds too harsh, I know, but I've been an asshole these days. I like her, but there's only so much time I want to spend gazing into someone's eyes. It's different if there's love involved. Anything I could label this would sound incredibly cheap and it's not like that. I could call it fun because that's just what it is. But I'm being honest about it, not letting someone get the wrong ideas about my intentions.

It's herself she has to worry about. I know what I want. I can't get what I want, but I'm not settling. I wanted her until I got her. Now I don't want so much.

Incorporating this into my daily life is a little like oil and water (she says "warter") because it is so care intensive. It's ok as long as it exists on a separate plane.

I like her because she allows me my "moodiness". Silence is my second language. There's two kind of silences: one that tells everything, the other keeps people out.

I know them both.