Lexapro Literally Changed My Life

Millions of people deal with depression everyday. The causes of depression are numerous. I had a wonderful childhood and an average teenage life. I had plenty of friends, popular enough to please myself, and lots of people that loved me and cared about me. So why would I be depressed?

I wasn't. Not at this time anyways. It wasn't until I moved from my small town to Kansas to be with a guy I had been dating for about a year. It wasn't until we would go out to eat, or to the mall, or even a club or concert, when I would start feeling sick, my chest and stomach would tighten, I felt like I couldn't breathe. I had no clue what was wrong me.

It wasn't until after many of these horrible incidents that I realized what was wrong with me. I was having anxiety and panic attacks. This was something I never experienced before so I had no clue what the signs were. Luckily enough, I was able to cope with it myself and I gradually got used to the people and noises of the big city. We got engaged and I was happy again. So I thought all was better and would continue.

Next thing I know I'm living in an apartment with my sister and I'm informed that her and my ex-fiancé are in love. Talk about a slap in the face. This is where the depression sank as low as it could go. I no longer cared about anything. I walked around at work pretending to be okay and happy but I'd be in the bathroom crying every chance I got. I got good at hiding it when I needed to. Only cause I didn't want people to worry over me. I didn't feel that I was worth worrying over. I was behind on bills, I was low on money cause I was missing more work and then spending it before paying my bills.

Then came the suicidal thoughts and attempts. I still saw my ex fiancé whenever I could but I don't know why. I guess I thought maybe it would be a big dream and I'd wake up to everything normal again. I remember talking to my sister on the phone, telling her I was going to hurt myself, and she told me "Don't be selfish." Those were her exact words. They make my eyes water just remembering them. That night after having drank almost a whole bottle of hypnotic I took a few more sleeping pills than I was supposed to. These pills were the only way I could get any sleep anymore and I thought maybe a few more would do the job. I wanted to do it but was still partially scared. And in the end, I decided if I woke up alive then God intends something different for me and I need to figure out what it is.

I went to the doctor and he prescribed Lexapro for me. I can honestly say I noticed a difference after just one week of taking these pills. I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted. I felt I could think more clearly. I could see the reasoning to what my sister and fiancé did to me, even if it was a crappy reason, I could still see it.
And I have. I have a wonderful partner and a beautiful and smart little girl. I know that had I not gone through what I did, I wouldn't have reached where I was intended to be. Right here, with my family. I still take Lexapro only because I am still fighting the depression by itself. I am happy this way, even if it is a pill making me happy. I would rather take this pill and be happy, then to not take a pill and be miserable the rest of my life. Life is too short to waste it being unhappy and hating everything and everyone.

If you know someone or you yourself are depressed, please get help. Living with depression isn't living at all. There is so much more to life that you could easily explore without the depression weighing you down.