Lies This Homeless Mom Tells
Are They Lies or Positive Speaking?
I've never told many lies. I am not good at it. I prefer the truth; lies only cause more trouble. I tell myself and others that I am not lying; I am only speaking positively. I'm not sure if anyone believes me. I'm not sure I believe myself.
Not Hungry - I tell my daughter I'm not hungry when I put food from my tray onto hers when we are at the soup kitchens. The portions are so small and there are so many people to feed. There aren't enough donations for all of us. I know that if I don't give her some of my food that she will leave hungry. She's a smart kid and probably knows better, but she doesn't say anything to me about it.
Computer Doesn't Work - I tell the internet monitor at the library that my computer doesn't work when she notices I've signed up several times to use the free service that day. That is the truth; my computer really doesn't work. I'm sure it would if I had some place to plug it up. She smiles and nods. I'm guessing she knows the truth.
Broken Gas Gage - I tell the people who help me push my car when I run out of gas that my gas gage is broken. That is also true. It is broken. I just fail to mention that is has been broken long enough for me to know how much is really in the tank. I don't have the heart (or the nerve) to tell them I don't have money for more gas.
Soon, Later and Someday - "Momma, when will we have a house?" my daughter asks. "Soon" is my response. I can't tell her I don't know when that will be. "Momma, can we go to McDonalds?" my daughter asks. "Later," is my answer. We will go later. I don't know when "later" will be. "Momma, can me and you go to church with Daddy?" my daughter asks. "Someday," I reply. My faith tells it will be someday. My spiritual eyes can really see that.
Dust - "I have dust in my eyes," I tell people when I cry. Libraries are dusty. Oklahoma roads are dusty. Shelter rooms and hallways are dusty. I really can't be crying anyway. I have to be positive and upbeat. The "Momma" in me forces a smile so my baby's heart won't break the way mine is breaking.
My lying skills are seriously lacking. My faith, nonetheless, is strong. "I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able..." is what the Bible says. I believe it. I know that isn't a lie.
Not Hungry - I tell my daughter I'm not hungry when I put food from my tray onto hers when we are at the soup kitchens. The portions are so small and there are so many people to feed. There aren't enough donations for all of us. I know that if I don't give her some of my food that she will leave hungry. She's a smart kid and probably knows better, but she doesn't say anything to me about it.
Computer Doesn't Work - I tell the internet monitor at the library that my computer doesn't work when she notices I've signed up several times to use the free service that day. That is the truth; my computer really doesn't work. I'm sure it would if I had some place to plug it up. She smiles and nods. I'm guessing she knows the truth.
Broken Gas Gage - I tell the people who help me push my car when I run out of gas that my gas gage is broken. That is also true. It is broken. I just fail to mention that is has been broken long enough for me to know how much is really in the tank. I don't have the heart (or the nerve) to tell them I don't have money for more gas.
Soon, Later and Someday - "Momma, when will we have a house?" my daughter asks. "Soon" is my response. I can't tell her I don't know when that will be. "Momma, can we go to McDonalds?" my daughter asks. "Later," is my answer. We will go later. I don't know when "later" will be. "Momma, can me and you go to church with Daddy?" my daughter asks. "Someday," I reply. My faith tells it will be someday. My spiritual eyes can really see that.
Dust - "I have dust in my eyes," I tell people when I cry. Libraries are dusty. Oklahoma roads are dusty. Shelter rooms and hallways are dusty. I really can't be crying anyway. I have to be positive and upbeat. The "Momma" in me forces a smile so my baby's heart won't break the way mine is breaking.
My lying skills are seriously lacking. My faith, nonetheless, is strong. "I know whom I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able..." is what the Bible says. I believe it. I know that isn't a lie.
Published by Emma Riley Sutton
My friends call me "The Queen of Useless Information." I have a B.A. in Public Relations and also in English. I am a stay-at-home homeschooling mom and a freelance writer. View profile
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8 Comments
Post a CommentThe biggest most loving (((((hugs)))) :o)
My crying lie is allergies...my I have to lie down lie is--oh, missing a long distance call, gotta go--my missing doc appts b/c I can't out of bed lie--13 yr old car won''t start--etc.etc.etc....for someone who values the truth, I really DO lie alot....!
My justification...as long as no one else is hurt by my "truth replacements" or loses money by my canceling an appt at the last minute...you're right, after 3 yrs, they know....
Keep the faith, Emma. You are sharing an amazing story. Though it is heartbreaking, this is one moment in which you'll learn and come away stronger, passing that on to your daughter. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
Em, this is tearing at my heart. I know that God has allowed this for you for a reason. Perhaps you are to be a voice for the homeless. I'm praying for you.
I am so sorry.I wish people who have the ability to do something would. So many people turn their heads. I buy past the date food because I have to. Food is just past my budget. I buy the cheapest of everything which is still expensive. I have a lot people praying for you.
I wish there was something more I could do but read and comment. But I will be reading all of your articles. May God bless you soon.
super job
Praying for you. Your articles are awesome! If nothing else, I can see God growing you in a special way. I know your daughter will look on this as a time of growing faith and building "God stories". That, my friend, is a real legacy! Angie