Life Advice with Dr. Fluffy: How to Gain Weight

Hello my little Muffins and Cupcakes :]. This is a new advice series that I decided to start because well we all know you need it. And judging by that lack of tummy, you are probably thinking "Omgz plz get to the point already, I wants to be more soft around the waist." Well okay then my dear, let's get get to it
Ever since the very late 90's I have been underweight while prior to that, it could be argued that I was in the "tons of fun" category. But from some time in 1999 till December 2009, I was what most would consider skinnysauce and I was never comfortable with that although at times I lied to myself and pretended that I was fat by putting pillows under my shirt and whatnot. Of course that didn't fool anyone but myself and it was things like that which made my mental issues seem even worse. Now I know how to really get fat just like all of you and my tips are below :]:

Junk Food Discovery
One great tip is instead of your daily exercise routine, make it a daily junk food discovery routine. You'll find that quality brands of potato chips and chocolate truffles seem to go unnoticed. Your taste buds will thank you.

Brownie Magic
Another good one is to eat a simple healthy snack (such as brownie bites) just before going to bed, or even better, while you're lying in bed. Brownie bites are a good choice because of the perfect portion size even if you have a tiny mouth, one will usually fit. A fun game to play with your kids is seeing who can fit the most brownie bites in their mouth. Of course this game has been going on for years with Oreos but brownies are softer and you can usually fit more in by squishing them together which would be more fun for you and your ugly kids.

Pasta Bloat
I feel soooo fat after I finish off a giant bowel of pasta. And I tend to look the part also. Penne is shape of pasta that seems to have the greatest effect when it comes to that "I feel so fat I just want to kill myself" feeling. Well I'm kind of used to it now I although I do get the fat feeling, it's not as bad as when I first started. I recommend easing into this, perhaps starting with a less damaging shape such as mostaccioli which may be similar in shape but far less offensive in thickness. Just trust me, I've been through a lot with these things.

Waffle Ice Cream Taco
If you haven't tried this, then you don't know what love tastes like. One bite and you'll be addicted. If you're suicidal, this will cure you and give you a reason to live. All you need is a toasted or microwaved waffle and mint chip ice cream. Proceed to create a taco out of these caloric monstrosities and you have created an even greater caloric monstrosity that has been clinically proven to cure depression. Soon you'll begin to notice a great deal of pudge where your abs used to be if you follow all my tips and feel free to add your own tips and thank you notes in the comment box below