Life After 60 and Realizing All Your Dreams

Have you reached a point in your life where you want to be healthier, happier, and sexier, but just don't know where to begin? Do you wish that you had the tools to build a new you? I have felt the same way myself more than once and finally learned what to do about it. I want to share the steps that I've taken because they really worked for me and I know they will work for you whether you are 40 or 80!

It is up to you whether you want to make changes for yourself. Only you can do it. There is no great diet and weight loss program attached or any miracle potion available. I am going to share 6 steps with you that will help you realize your goals. If you follow the steps, you can be like me and can achieve any goal you set your mind to. It will be life changing in a matter of 60 days. That is only 2 months out of your life!

Even though I am currently 60 years old I am not too old to follow this health and wellness regime. I have allowed myself to get out of shape - again! I have done this before and it only takes me a couple of months to get back on track when I set my mind to it. I now have a regular plan I follow when I "fall off the wagon."

It is a good idea before you change your way of eating and exercise to check with your family doctor.

My Story
I woke up this morning, my 3rd day into suffering from a flu bug, and realized it was time to work on my health and wellness plan again. If I follow my doctor's chart, I am 15 pounds over what I should weigh at age 60 for my height and bone structure. I'm also carrying at least 10 inches of extra fat, which I have no problem pinching. Yuck!

I carry my extra weight between my waist and my knees. Sound familiar? The last time I decided to go on my wellness kick was because my knees were beginning to ache every time I went up or down stairs. That was 3 years ago. After dropping 20 pounds, (I was 25 pounds overweight at that time) I had no more trouble with the knee joints. I also started walking a lot too, which strengthened the muscles around my knees.

I had an opportunity to live and work in Mexico for a year. I managed to keep the weight and inches off until I returned from my travels a year and a half ago. When I returned to work in Canada, I did a lot of walking at first. Winter came, and along with it, the cold weather and snow. Before long, I was taking the bus. Then I moved a few miles out of town and needed a car. That's when my walking ended except for the occasional stroll through the park. I have once again become sluggish and have gained 15 pounds back. It's been a work in progress. So, in 1½ years I'm within 10 pounds of having trouble with my knees again!

When I look at my health and wellness, I don't just think about my weight, but also how I am feeling mentally and emotionally. As I get heavier, my emotional health goes down hill. I don't have the energy to get out and do things. I begin to grow out of my clothes (or they start shrinking!) and I don't have the ambition to socialize, or so it seems. My eating habits start to change and I begin to turn toward old comfort snacks like jelly-beans and chocolate and popcorn with butter.

Step 1 - Health and Wellness
The first step is the weigh-in and measure-in. If you don't have a scale, don't worry. The measure-in is a good guideline to follow and will give you an accurate reading of what is happening to your body the next 60 days. You can record your weight when you go for your next doctor's check-up. I make a chart with the date, and then list the following body parts. This is for men and women. Neck, bust, right upper arm, midriff, waist, belly button, widest part of hips, upper right thigh, middle right thigh, knee, calf, ankle, mid part of foot. I know it seems crazy measuring things like your neck and foot but it is surprising where you carry extra weight!

The only other thing to do on Day 1 is write out a promise to yourself. Write the following on a piece of paper that you can post in a visible spot where you can see it everyday:

I Am Healthier, Happier, And Sexier Than I Ever Have Been!

Step 2 - Diet and Weight Loss
The second step is assessing my food intake. I don't like to use the words diet and weight loss. I like to think of it as learning to eat healthier. I am looking at some of the foods I normally eat and how I eat it. I am also doing some decision-making as to whether I should change some of my habits. During the winter I tend to eat a lot of what I like to call comfort foods. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas and Valentine's Day I consume a lot of products it seems made with white flour or chocolate or both. This may be in the form of cookies, gravy, breads, or desserts. Those products, combined with a lack of exercise, tend to add not only pounds but also inches to my body in very little time.

In the winter months I cut down on my intake of fresh fruits and vegetables too. I'm lazy and just don't want to prepare the fruit or veggies for nibbling.

Then there is exercise! It's cold and miserable and since I don't snow ski, what is exciting about the outside?

In the past, I've been successful with changing a couple of habits right away. First of all, I get rid of any leftover candy I have lying around. Okay, I can throw it in the garbage or give it away but personally I prefer to eat it! I may not have anymore for a few days so why not enjoy it?

Then I start going through my cupboards and getting rid of anything white. That's right, anything white! This includes flour, salt, sea salt, coffee creamer, rice, pasta, salad dressings, crackers, potatoes, and sugar. The only white product I use for 60 days is 1% milk. I can't stand skim milk!

Then take out all canned goods (look at the sodium levels!) and prepared condiments like ketchup, mustard, and soy sauce. If you feel this is a waste of groceries and you don't want to give it away to the food bank, just hide it away for 60 days. Otherwise, use it all up and do Step 2 when you are ready to start again.

Now it's time to go shopping. First of all, except for getting the following ingredients, I just shop around the perimeter of the grocery store where I can find fresh products including fruits, vegetables, fish, and meat. I find the bulk food section is also a good place to find brown rice and whole-wheat pastas. Because this may be a new way of eating, I suggest buying small amounts to begin with until you find what you really like. Since you've tossed the salt, take time to buy a few bulk spices to try out. You need very little of the spices.

On my first shopping trip I will buy a number of vegetables, spinach leaves instead of lettuce, a few pieces of fruit, bulk almonds, and bulk packages of lean meat or chicken or fish. I also buy rye crisp bread, rice crackers, a block of low fat cheese, and 1% milk. To replace my salad dressings, I get olive oil and balsamic vinegar. During the spring I like to be prepared to cook a lot of stir-fries. When I get home I spend time washing and cutting up veggies and bagging them in zip-lock freezer bags, which help keep the veggies crisper. I cut the meat and fish into approximately 4 oz. portions (about the size of a deck of cards) and also bag them and throw them in the freezer. The preparation will take me usually about an hour but I've prepared 5 days worth of food by the time I'm finished. If I'm already hungry, I've got prepared snacks!

You may already be saying to yourself "I can't eat like this!" That's true. Maybe you can't. But do you or don't you want to lose 15 pounds? I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't do.

Now that I have all that preparation out of the way, it is time to look at some other habits. I am a coffee drinker and I used to always have cream and sugar in it. I found that the sweetener was the easiest thing for me to give up. I still enjoy the occasional specialty coffee, but not at home. There I just drink black. If I need to sweeten my coffee, I use an artificial sweetener.

Remember that you can always return to old habits after the 60 days! Give it a try for now.

Breakfast is a big thing for me. I eat ¾ cup of bulk rolled oats (not the individual packaged kind - they are loaded with sodium and sugar) and it takes 2 minutes to prepare in the microwave. Just add water. Use artificial sweetener if you must have some sweetness. I also have milk on the porridge.

I like to cook up a pot of rice every few days to have on hand because brown rice takes longer to cook than white. For lunches and suppers I just vary my veggies and rice and protein.

The other thing that I change with my habits besides getting rid of the white stuff, is downsizing the portions. I find the easiest way to do this is downsize the plate. Instead of using a full-sized dinner plate, I switch to a luncheon sized one. Everything I put on the plate is the size of a deck of cards. By the time I have added my pasta or rice and veggies and protein, the plate is full! Salad can be served in a separate small bowl with a tablespoon of olive oil mixed with ½ tablespoon of vinegar.

The first few days I may still have room in my stomach after I have eaten the first plate of food. Instead of filling my plate again right away, I wait for an hour and then do it. It takes a little while to get into the new habit. This is not about starving myself. This is about learning to enjoy food and fueling my body, as it needs it. I ALWAYS have breakfast but for the first week at least, I eat the rest of my meals on demand. Forget about the noon and 5 o'clock schedule. Feed the body when it needs to be fed, but with healthy food! Stay away from the candy counter.

Step 3 - Fitness and Exercise
Exercise is a nasty word! The weather outside is miserable so I know I have to begin moving around and exercising inside. Because I'm really not into exercise, the daunting task of starting up a regular exercise program again never excites me. This process though is to stay healthy and happy and I know from experience it works.

I was never involved in a lot of exercise and fitness or sports as a kid except what was mandatory in school. I tried baton twirling at 3 and ballet at 9 and neither one suited me, or should I say I didn't suit them! The only thing I really enjoyed doing was walking for miles by myself or rowing a boat. As I got older I added dancing to my list, as long as someone led me around the dance floor. My sense of rhythm only worked if I was following someone or if I got to dance to my own drummer.

When I was raising my kids I managed to stay pretty active chasing them. I took up water-skiing for a few years and actually learned to slalom ski. I never thought of it as exercise though. It was just summer fun.

I decided when I was 45 to take up walking again and got into some serious hiking too. I had returned to college so I stopped everyday after classes to walk beside the water just to clear my head. The first time was only for 10 minutes but as the days went by I added a bit more time and before long I was walking at least an hour each day. There was a fairly steep climb to a cliff trail and the daily exertion felt good. Mind you, the weather was great and the temperature nice and warm for a good amount of the day. Before long I dropped 5 pounds, then ten, and eventually 15.

Then I moved to a rural community on the prairies for a couple of years. It was an hour and a half drive to get fresh produce during the fall and winter. I ate a lot of starches and canned food during those 2 winters and it wasn't long before my body was carrying 25 extra pounds. I finally left the prairies and moved back to the city but it took time to change my eating habits and to get back into a regular lifestyle program.

At the age of 58 I finally decided to try out a gym. I wasn't impressed at first but kept at it. I made sure I stopped on the way home from work because I knew if I didn't I wouldn't go back after I got home. I wasn't into any of the group classes offered because my life at work was already busy and hectic enough. Getting on an elliptical machine or treadmill and plugging in to watch my favourite program was enough for me. I'd also spend 20 minutes on the circuit machines. A few stretches at the end of an hour and I was out of there!

After a few weeks of going to the gym I found I had a lot more energy. I started eating right again as well. The weather began getting nicer and before long I was getting out for a short walk after supper.

That summer, I had the opportunity to go live in Mexico for a year and teach English, which I jumped at. I lived a 7-minute walk from the beach and 20 minutes from downtown. Needless to say I walked a lot and before long I got rid of the final 10 pounds that had refused to drop off before then.

When I returned from my year away it wasn't long before I became sedentary once again. The pounds slowly climbed up, until, at 60, I am once again facing the challenge of shedding extra weight and getting back into good physical shape.

Shortly after breakfast, I put on a piece of my favourite music. The only thing I want to accomplish daily in the first week is moving to music I enjoy listening to for at least 10 minutes a day. I don't care if all I do is move around in a circle or dance like crazy, just so long as I do it. I'll do the same tomorrow and maybe add an extra 5 minutes to it. If the weather was nice, I'd take my MP-3 and go for a 10 minute walk.

This is all about starting again and doing it for myself.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't - either way you are right!"
Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)

Step 4 - Lifestyle
I know it may seem like I am jumping from one idea to another and sometimes repeating myself. It's important to realize though that changing your lifestyle involves a holistic approach. Each change involves a physical, mental, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual shift in thinking and acting. I'm not doing the "new age" thing. I'm just being realistic, which I've learned to be much more so later in life.

Since I turned 45 in 1994, I have circumvented North America by driving to Alaska, Newfoundland, Key West, and the Guatemalan border. I went back to college for a year, tried ranching and farming for a couple of years, overcame my fear of heights, and traveled to China. Then I learned to sail and crew for racing sailboats, started going to the gym, took up Salsa and Argentinean Tango, taught English as a Second Language, and became a professional writer. I even practiced retirement for a few months just to see what it might be like. I decided I wasn't ready to just lay back and soak up the sun.

A couple of years ago I took a sabbatical from my regular job working with people with developmental and physical disabilities and lived and worked in Mexico for a year. I went back to work at my old job for a month before heading to Europe to marry off my daughter and then traveled around the continent for another 6 weeks.

When I turned 60 last year, I finally sat down and wrote a list of my dreams and goals that I wanted to accomplish before I died. I'm constantly adding to that list now.

The older I get, the more evident it is of course that there is less time to accomplish all I want to do in life. I finally had to set some priorities, whether it was losing weight, or traveling, or going back to school, or buying property. I have a process I follow now for all my decision-making and would like to share it with you. I know it is a scary process the first time or two that you do it. I used the following steps the first time years ago when I was working with youth at risk. Even they found it a difficult task at first.

The first step is to identify what is important to you.
1. Write your dreams down.
It's very important to write your dreams down on a list. Then you have the opportunity to look at it and read it on a regular basis. Post it on your calendar or mirror. Make sure it is something you see first thing every morning.
2. Determine which item on your list is most important for you to do first.
After making your list, determine the priorities. Write #1 next to the most important and #2 for the next most important, etc. Once you prioritize, your dreams actually start becoming goals.
3. Ignore other people's advice.
Remember, this is your wish list, not someone else's! Try not to share the information because you may get feedback you don't want to hear!
4. Cut your dream list to no more than 10.
This is one of the hardest steps to take. You have your dreams, but what if your list is 3 pages long? Gradually go through them and draw a line through the ones that are least important AT THIS TIME or ones that aren't realistic. Also remove any that involve others directly. An example of this is "I plan to marry Henry by 2011" unless your real goal is to ask Henry to marry you!
5. Short-list to 5 dreams.
I know it may sound ridiculous but this is a heart-wrenching move! Suddenly you are crossing off 5 of your dreams! It is difficult at first but as you go through the process, you realize what is most important to you to accomplish now.
6. Re-prioritize your list.
You may find by now that you have taken a number of important dreams off your list that you thought were right up at the top. Re-number them again.
7. Determine your top dream.
This takes some real soul searching. I use the question, "If I knew I was going to die in 6 months, what would I do first?"
8. Start researching all the steps necessary to reach your dream by turning it into a goal.
If your top dream, for instance, is to visit Bali before you die, then you will want to find out all about the country, how you will get there, how much your budget needs to be, etc.

It all starts with realizing what your dreams are and then believing they will happen. For instance, say you have set your top dream as "I am going to lose 15 pounds in the next 6 months." You have reached Step 4 in this process listed above and haven't thought about doing anything related to Steps 1, 2, or 3. Losing weight might not be an important goal for you, even though you thought it was to begin with. Maybe traveling somewhere for a holiday is more important right now and you need to concentrate on that first. This is about becoming Healthier, Happier, and Sexier but not necessarily in that order.

You are the only one who can determine your dreams and then turn your dreams into goals. I was out to dinner with a friend the other night who is a cancer survivor. She is in her mid 60s. She has always wanted to learn to ride a horse and in a few months she and her husband are going to spend a week at a dude ranch. She would have gone even if he hadn't!

My life is what I choose to make of it. Sometimes it requires taking new directions if I find I am in a place I no longer want to be.

Step 5 - Positive Thinking
So far I've introduced the idea of changing a way of thinking, like eating a different way, looking at dreams, and setting goals. I've suggested putting some exercise into the mix. The next thing I'd like to talk about is looking at life from a positive perspective rather than a negative one.

I'm so amazed by the number of people my age who are stuck in a negative way of thinking. I know that I can't change where they are at but I can point out what I am hearing them say.

"I want to lose weight but I don't have time to go to the gym."
"I want to go to Mexico but I'm broke."
"I want to date that new woman in the office but I don't think she would be interested in me."
"I want to buy a new car but it costs too much money."

Okay, you have come up with all the excuses for why good things won't happen in your life. How about considering an opposite way of thinking? If you want something positive to happen, it will happen, but you have to make it happen!

Remember when you were a kid and were accused of daydreaming? Dreaming became something negative instead of something positive. That message is still with you if you aren't realizing your dreams as an adult. Wouldn't you rather follow your own dreams than be caught up in the guilt associated with dreaming?

I know that I am getting older and more set in my way of thinking as I enter my 61st year. I refuse to "suffer the fools." I even quit talking to a close relative for awhile (or she quit talking to me!) because of the negativity I endured whenever I had a conversation with her. Isn't it interesting that when we finally reach the age of maturity, that looking at things positively becomes important, for some of us anyway? We tend to gravitate toward like-minded souls. If we think negatively, we will surround ourselves with other negative people.

Life is really too short to spend time being negative. How can we become grateful for what we have, rather than miserable for what we don't have? How can we become grateful for the people around us rather than complaining constantly about what they don't do for us?

Gratitudes
Have you ever sat down and compiled a list of what you are grateful for? I know what many people have said to me when I've asked them this question.

"My life hasn't been going well. I lost my job, I have overdue bills, etc. How can I possibly be grateful?"

I'm not saying it is going to be easy to be grateful, especially at a time like now when everything is not going the way you want it to go. I am saying you need to do some personal stuff to identify what is special in your life before you can dream again.

Before you begin writing what's on your list though, take time to get comfortable. Take a few deep breaths and let them out slowly. Try and imagine if you could be anywhere right now, where would it be? Maybe it would be sitting by a quiet stream, or walking by the ocean. Put yourself in that place. Think of what the breeze against your face feels like. What sounds would you hear? Can you smell anything?

I always put myself by a beautiful, turquoise ocean with the white sands under me, and the sound of the surf rolling in slowly and peacefully, lulling me to sleep. A warm breeze drifts across my body and takes away all the tensions.

It takes awhile to go into this totally relaxed place easily but with practice you will get there.

After getting relaxed, I allow my mind to wander. I think back to the experiences I have had recently, when I laughed last, when I went for a walk and enjoyed nature. I think of my children, my family, my friends, animals that are around me, and what they all mean to me.

Laughter. How many of us find it difficult to reach a point of being happy enough to really laugh anymore? I became a grandparent recently, and if nothing else puts a smile on my face, that does. But even if you haven't been lucky enough to become a grandparent, just being around children and seeing their antics is worthwhile.

It may take time to compile your gratitude list the first time. But as you get more into a relaxed state of meditation, your list will grow. You deserve to give a few minutes to yourself each day, so take the time!

Step 6 - Sensuality and Sexuality As We Age
When I was growing up in the sixties, age 60 often meant being a senior with gray-hair. It certainly didn't include a description of a sexy, dynamic person. As I approached my 60th birthday, I revisited my early beliefs. I couldn't identify with that visual picture from my youth. So, where did that leave me?

I also grew up in an era where baby-boomer feminists challenged equality between the sexes and I supported some of the concepts like equality in the workplace. Unisex became a new word, and, instead of women showing off their femininity, they were encouraged to downplay it or hide it. No longer was it cool for men to be macho either, let alone thinking about whistling at a woman in public anymore.

But I refused to abandon my sexiness completely and held on to it in small ways, hoping I would enjoy it again fully one day.

When I began my research into sexiness after 60 I found that there was little written about the subject and any media promotion usually referred to male EDD. Choosing to dress, feel, look, and act younger and sexier than "my age" weren't hot topics. A message for seniors seemed to be "slip gracefully and quietly into seniority." Anything considered sexy in the senior population should only occur behind closed doors.

It was accepted that men could retain their sexiness with greying hair at the temples and laugh lines around the eyes. Clint Eastwood, Sean Connery, and Paul Newman had no trouble being considered handsome well after 60. Then there were the women like Sophia Loren, Ann-Margret, and Goldie Hawn. Age didn't affect them so why should it affect me?

In many ways I feel younger now than when I was in my 20s but the truth is I'm not. I have great laugh-lines. I've gathered much knowledge over the years. I'm a grandparent.

One thing I've discovered is no matter what my age, I can be as sexy as I choose to be. My positive attitude keeps me thinking that way!

Bio
Susan Gerle has been writing and publishing since 1998. She also writes travel articles and publishes them on www.globetales.com