Life After Flying the Nest

Looking into my Mothers shocked face after I came out with "the announcement" I felt shivers of fear and sheer exhilaration run down my spine.

Yes, today was the day that I went home to my house and announced to my unsuspecting and doting parents, that I, their 17 year old daughter was leaving home. So what you might think? Hundreds of teenagers leave home everyday. Well, in my case it wasn't quite that simple...

Not only did I have to tell my parents that I was moving out of the family home in Spain ( we moved there 7 years previously) but that I wasn't just moving down to the coast or anything simple like that, but I was actually heading off to Denmark. As soon as the word Denmark left my lips,world war three started...

Needless to say a huge row ensured which ended up with I storming away on my high horse extremely miffed about some of the things that got said and my mother and father in a state of bemused anger...........

Looking back on the events of last year makes me smile with amusement, there I was as bold as brash, marching into my mums house and announcing that i was clearing off, as if I was popping down to the shops for a pint of milk.

My sheer naivety now seems incredible and it has been a hard journey which has provided me with many laughs and not so amusing incidents to get where I am now.

Just a week after I announced I was off to Denmark I was sitting on a Ryanair flight to Billund,reflecting on how much more exciting life had become since i decided to move. In the space of a week i had packed up the whole of my Danish boyfriends flat, thrown most of my possessions away, quit school the day before it started and said good bye to all my pals, not to mention stuffing 50 kilos of clothes into a 30 kilo allowance and not getting charged the Ryanair excess of 15€/kilo :). Life seemed good....

My first reality check however didn't take long in coming, not long after out hasty arrival i was faced with piles of dirty washing, mind you, it wasn't like Ive never washed anything before so I wasn't too worried. Off to the machine I went and dumped all the clothes in, that part seemed to go well and the clothes came out fine albeit a little muddy because of a lone black sock Id missed amoungst the whites.

Now, I never knew tumble driers had filters, did you?! What a stupid idea, they should just make the fluff disappear, but anyway I think you can imagine what happened after a few loads.There was a funny noise and a squeak and i went over to the machine to find that it wasn't working anymore, not for the life of me could i understand why. I spent the rest of the day frustrated, trying frantically to dry my clothes for dinner with friends with a handheld hair dryer and actually ended up melting part of the top from holding it too close.

Oh, that was the moment i wished I could trail home like every other child returning for holidays, grubby and hungry with a huge pile of dirty washing in tow and hand it over to mummy and have it all magically appear in my drawers later on!!! I realised then that this was the real deal and I was going to have to provide to myself.

Then there were the problems with my paper work, now, Im not a technically minded person and nor do I have patience, I like things done and I like it done fast. In the end it only took 7 months for my paper work to come through (!) throwing my plans to go to Danish school down the drain!

That I must tell you was one hell of a blow, suddenly I was faced with the prospect of taking black-money jobs on a pittance of a pay,because although I am a European citizen I couldn't get a tax number until my Id number arrived.

And what a job I ended up with! Washing dished at the local hotel, I tell you, think of a job you've done and hated and multiply that hate by ten, then you get the idea. Id come home smelly and sticky, hair full of chip fat from the vents above the stove that i had to clean, and no satisfaction of a nice fat pay check in the bank. They were keeping half of the tiny wage I was earning so that when i did get a tax number they could send it off to cover my taxes. Oh the joy of it!

Suddenly I found myself thinking that maybe chucking caution into the wind and going off so quickly wasnt such a great idea after all, here I was in a strange country Id only ever visited once before, with none of the creature comforts of home and a head full of chip grease!

But dont get my wrong people, being young and away from the nest also had its joys! :) Suddenly i could eat McDonalds all day if I wanted to, stay up as long as I wanted and party as much as i could cope with without having to explain to anyone what and where I was doing/going. I had some great times.

Perhaps though the most difficult times were just before Christmas when I ended up in hospital with a ruptured ulcer and missing my mum and dad terribly, I wanted them to come and visit me everyday and just offer that security blanket you feel wrapped around you when your mum and dad are there. Christmas and my 18th birthday were hard too but I keep in regular contact with my family and have been home to visit .

Money was also one of the biggest problems I faced, having a monthly budget was important and seeing most of our money fritter away on bills leaving very little for fun was so hard. I wanted to go out and drink and buy clothes but I couldn't do that because I needed to keep a roof over my head.

Right now, one year on I am having a great time, I have established a life for myself here, I am independent and infinitely more mature, I have had to learn to think for myself, rely on my own judgment and come face to face with life's temptations without the restrictions of my parents to hold me back.

If you asked me if I made the right decision last summer then I would say yes, no hesitation, it has been a real experience and has enriched me as a person, and i Im sure if you compare me to your average teen I'm some what more mature.

However, I wouldn't rush to recommend doing this to all teens, luckily I have always had a good head on my shoulders and I know how to think for myself but I know that so much freedom so so could cause damage to more vulnerable kids especially girls. So i guess what Im saying is think it through people and don't rush into anything as appealing as it may be! :)

Maybe you think its too much too soon or you wonder at my parents for letting me go? (not that they could have stopped me) Let me know what you think about my article at nat1291@hotmail.com id love to hear your comments :)

Tash x