Life After Kids: How to Stay Connected as a Couple

Life before kids is such a glamorous time. Moms spend more time on themselves, getting regular haircuts, splurging on wardrobe updates and sleeping like a normal human. Dads play softball with friends, meet their buddies for beers and spend Sunday afternoons lying on the couch watching football. As a couple, you have so much time to go out for a romantic dinner, see the latest movies and spend Saturday mornings snuggling in bed. You make sweet gestures to let the other person know how much you care and life is truly love.

After the birth of your first baby, you'll likely be so busy you don't notice that you're not really staying connected as a couple. Then, suddenly, you'll notice that you haven't had a conversation about anything BUT the baby in weeks. Soon, you'll get on a good routine and you'll start to crave time together again; even a trip to the grocery store while the baby sleeps in his carrier seems like a real date!

It's important to make time for one another. This will involve asking for help from friends and family members, who are likely eager to spend some quality time with your child anyway! It really is okay to leave the baby with other people, especially family! It gives you time to recharge and I promise that the baby will be getting so much love and attention while you're gone, it'll be good for him too! Once you find reliable childcare, you can claim a chunk of your weekends back, even if it's only once or twice a month, and spend some time reconnecting with your partner.

One good way to spend time together is to go out for lunch. Sometimes dinner is the craziest time of day, as bath-time usually follows the meal, and then it's bed-time. Going for lunch is generally quicker, and it's nice to have a meal in which you don't have to hare a single bite with anyone no matter what time of day it is! Lunch portions are generally smaller, and less expensive, so they're great for couples on a budget (and a diet!) as well.

Matinees are also a great way for parents to spend some time alone together, as well as catch the latest movies on the big screen. Grandparents sometimes prefer to go to bed early, so having them sit for the kids during the afternoon is often a more desirable option for them in general.

Run errands if you have to -- just don't take the kids along! Listening to your favorite tunes when you're in the car and holding hands as you stroll the mall on a mission for new work shoes can be equally as romantic as taking a moonlit walk on the beach. If you haven't had one-on-one time in a while, there's no reason you can't use the time you have to be out together anyway!

You don't always have to leave the house to have a good time. Waiting to eat dinner together until after the kids go to bed is a nice way to spend quality time together. Follow it with a movie rental, and you've got yourself a great date! Pick up a bottle of wine, and light some candles for your meal, turn the lights off during your movie and it's a good as the real deal.

Taking ten minutes to chat about your day as soon as you and/or your spouse get home from work is another great idea, and it also ensures that you connect at least once per day. The kids will eventually learn that it's "Mommy & Daddy Time", and you can have a good talk while finishing dinner and setting the table.

Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to spend time together. It's often far better to let housework back up to spend time alone with your partner. Letting the laundry stay unfolded and not filling the dishwasher right away aren't really the end of the world in the grand scheme of things. It's far more respectable to put your relationships before your housework... trust me, it'll still be there later!

The most important thing is to be sure that each of you is getting what you need from the other person. Having a family takes time away from what got you there in the first place, and it's important to never lose sight of that. Cards, flowers and small presents are sweet, but quality time means so much more.