Life After the Loss of a Child

If you are reading this, chances are you have lost a child to one of several possible means and are asking yourself, "How do I live a normal life after the loss of my child?"

Loss can occur from many avenues, such as homicide, illness, auto accident, freak accident, overdose, suicide, miscarriage or stillbirth. No matter how it occurs, parents are left stunned and disoriented! They "float" through life, wondering what to do, how to go on, and how to function in daily living.

Depression, restlessness, apathy and withdrawal can occur, marriages can be at risk, and many feel that life is just not the same, nor will it ever be the same again. Many even consider suicide...

Some parents have other children that also suffer the grief of losing a sibling. The parents are so wrapped up in their own grief, that many times, the other siblings are not included in their grief process. This can lead to the sibling's acting out, and creating behavioral problems at home or at school because they don't know how to handle their own emotions.

I have watched beloved family members struggle with this very issue. It is so hard to be on the sideline watching them suffer. All I could do was love, hug, pray, and offer words of encouragement and hope. Many times, that's all grieving families need.
As family members, we can't make them overcome. It has to come from within them, in due time. Al we can do is be there for them when they need to talk about their feelings and the emotional roller coaster ride they are on.

What are some things you as a grieving parent can do to help you progress in your healing journey?

*Establish a website in memory of the loved one and place it on search engines to draw other grieving families to the site as a form of encouragement. Example: www.hopefromheaven.com (The site we established in memory of our loved ones.)

*Attend grief support group meetings and talk to other families going through similar situations. It always helps to talk to other people who have travelled the same road.

*Write....poetry, stories, feelings. Just WRITE! It is a method of releasing those pent up feelings!

*Go to a Children's Hospital and volunteer. There are many hurting families that need a hug from someone who's "been there".

*Establish or strengthen their faith/belief system. Remember...God didn't "do this".....but He can USE this! Call upon Him for the strength and peace that can only come from a closer relationship with Him!

*Seek professional counseling, or pastoral counseling if you feel you are having suicidal thoughts or can't get out of bed. It helps to talk things over with a trained professional.

*Read. There are many books and websites available that focus on loss and how to recover and live life to the full again!

*Give yourself permission to enjoy doing things. Many parents feel guilt over laughing and enjoying life after the loss of a child. It's OK! Do something fun. Laugh. Live. Love. That doesn't mean you'll forget......you can live and remember at the same time.

*Take up a hobby. Exercise. Get a puppy!

*Hold memorials on each anniversary of your child's passing. Many Compassionate Friends Support Group families release monarch butterflies on the anniversary date. Our family has. It is an emotional symbol of "letting them go"....

The following resource links may help you in your journey to life and living again....my prayers are with you as you seek purpose and joy. It will happen. Trust me on that one....and some day you will be strong enough to offer hope and encouraging words to others that are in the place where you are right now. In need of support, TLC, and the peace that passes all understanding. Live in honor of the one you lost. That is your greatest gift to them.