Life After the Stroke

When people think of others they've known who have had a stroke, they think of paralysis, slurred speech, and elderly people. There is another type of stroke that people can have that don't fit into the typical category of "Stroke." This type of stroke can be just as devastating, and in some ways even more-so to the person who has suffered from it than a common stroke.

A "Minnie- stroke" which is identified as a TIA [Transient Ischemic Attack] doesn't fit into any of the common types of strokes that people ordinarily think of; but the hidden effects can affect your life in ways that you would least expect it.

Some medical professionals are not even versed in the treatment of these types of strokes. There is no paralysis and very few outward symptoms. So these types of strokes often go untreated, and without treatment, the damage can become permanent, irreversible, and even escalate to future strokes with a greater magnitude.

About five years ago, I suffered from two of these types of strokes. I had been living in very stressful circumstances [Of my own doing] and admittedly, not keeping a very healthy lifestyle in general [Smoking, bad diet, and allowing myself to be stressed out most of the time by the people I was associating myself with].

One day I was talking to a friend on the phone when suddenly I developed this numb, tingling sensation in the left side of my face and in my fingertips and toes. My arm began to feel kind of heavy, but I hadn't lost any movement in it. Suddenly one of my eyes started drifting off to the side, but within a couple of seconds, it returned to its normal position. Then, as I was trying to talk, I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn't seem to remember how to form the words to say it.

I mentioned this to my friend and she told me to hang up and dial 911. Up until then I'd never really given strokes much thought, and this didn't seem to be as drastic as what I'd known about strokes [Which was very little up to that point]. Rather than dial 911, I drove myself to the hospital, told them that I thought I might be having a stroke, and began describing the symptoms to them.

I remember vividly that the tech asked me, "Are you having any nausea?" "No," I said, "Just numbness and I feel muddled."

"Oh, this is no stroke," the tech informed me (Without having done any scans), "You are having a pinched nerve."

Then they hooked me up to a heart monitor which in fact showed that I was having an irregular beat, but again it was so subtle that they simply blew it off as a common problem.

After several hours in the waiting room, being put behind others who were there for a cold and sniffles, I decided to leave (Later I learned that you must have the treatment within three hours for it to reverse the effects- I'd already been there for about five hours).

After having wasted my time the first time, I didn't bother going the second time it happened.

After these episodes, I've visited doctors who have confirmed that what I had was indeed a stroke on two separate occasions (There are other symptoms as well, such as loss of control of body functions, and memory).

Five years later, I am still trying to get back my speech patterns-- which is do-able but not quite so easy. I still tend to jumble the way I say things, like rather than to say, "Blue coat," I will say, "Coat blue," or even "Dog blue," when it is a blue coat that I am trying to describe. Sometimes I can hear the word in my head, but I don't know how to move my mouth to say it.

Strangely, this has also affected my math skills. I used to have the ability to do complicated equations in my head. After the strokes, I find myself unable to remember the sum of simple numbers and have to use a pencil and paper to accomplish 2 digit addition problems (32 + 6) etc.

It is getting better, but one of the biggest problems is in dealing with other people. With no outward signs of a brain injury, people don't take you seriously when you get those mental blocks, or don't seem to understand that if you say, "Where's the bathroom," you will only have about 2.5 seconds to find it [Though I have mostly regained this control- but still not a good idea to push my luck].

The freaky part is that it comes and goes. One minute you will be perfectly normal, then all of a sudden, for what-ever reason, you shut down again and have to "Prime the pump." This is the part that your friends won't understand-- but your true friends will eventually figure it out as part of your recovery.

Eventually, I believe it is possible to regain your mental faculties, but I don't think that I will ever function exactly the same as I did before the strokes.

I will say this too: In some ways, having those strokes was the best thing that ever happened to me. It has made me re-think my position on life. It has given me insight into human nature, and ultimately, these strokes has shown me a stint of mortality which in turn has proven to me the purpose of life; to forgive yourself for the stupid little things that you do on your journey (But to take notes of the lessons you gain from it), to view others (And to treat them as if they were) the most important and wonderful creatures ever born, to build a world around you that you can love (and to allow others to do the same), to enjoy each moment as if it were our very last, to genuinely look around and see things (And people) for what they really are [There is great pleasure in gazing into the eyes of a little brown lizard and wondering what he is thinking] and to leave the world a slightly better place than you found it (Not only with philanthropy, but by sharing your ideas, and enjoying the diversity of the ideas of others).

Most importantly, It seems to me that the purpose of life in the proverbial nut-shell is to enjoy every single moment. To breathe in the air, to taste the food we eat, to enjoy the sunset, and above all else, to be true to ourselves-- even when

You will notice on my profile that I take that "Kosher diet" stuff more seriously these days, and I don't associate myself with people who give me a head-ache. (I have also quit smoking). [On a personal note as well, I have also re-thought my position on the importance of our sub-cultures-- although we should be proud to be Americans, we should not ignore who we are and what we stand for, and mostly the pride of being who we are, whether it is Jewish, African American, Non-Jewish European American etc. This is all part of who and what we are and we should celebrate ourselves in it (Not in a way that denigrates others, we don't have to put others down to lift ourselves up-- but there should be a certain pride involved in who we are)].

I would suggest to others who have experienced this to not give up, recovery is possible, it simply takes a bit of work. I think that writing has helped me personally, I think it probably has something to do with re-routing your thought patterns [When someone has a stroke, part of their brain literally dies, so the function of that part has to be assumed in a different area of the brain].

If you are having any of these symptoms, talk to your doctor immediately. He may put you an a baby aspirin regimen (Which is far preferable to the prescription drugs in my opinion). I have also found [I'm not a doctor-- ask your own doctor before you do anything at all] that when I start feeling any of the symptoms coming back, I can usually make them go away by chewing down a baby aspirin when it first starts [I like the cherry ones, but they come in a variety of flavors which makes chewing them much easier than chewing a regular aspirin].

Minnie strokes are still strokes and should be taken as seriously as the major strokes [Not only because of the effects it has on your functions at the time, but many people who end up having the major strokes have had a series of minnie-strokes leading up to it, and were simply not aware of it].