Life with Anorexia

Everyone at one time or another feels too fat and thinks "I need to get rid of this weight, I hate the way I look".
The media is full of stars with what is considered to have it all, fame, fortune, perfect body, and we think that if we want to be happy and accepted then this is the way we should be and look and if we do then just maybe tomorrow won't be as bad as today.

When things start to fall apart around our shoulders and we don't know how to keep putting one foot in front of the other we try to find a coping mechanisim and somewhere in the craziness we decide that if we had control over our weight and being a size zero, will make us feel so much better, it will be a secret that no-one else knows about and can interfere with or take away from us.

We start to eat less food, exercise more, count calories, skip meals, take laxatives or diet pills and make ourselves vomit. We lie to people, make excuses to avoid going out to eat or be anywhere in the off chance there might be food.

There is a point in the first few weeks where you start to think "what am I doing?", but by this time the disease has a grip on our thinking and emotions and we start to believe that you have full control over this, loosing a couple more pounds won't hurt and the compliments and attention that we get and need from other people keeps us going, so we push away the fear and keep going down the self destructive path.

Everytime the scales go down, clothes become baggier and we start to feel and see our bones sticking out in places that we didn't know where there, we start feeling a bit better and reaffirmes that this is a good thing.

The longer we keep going down this road, we start getting scared about not waking up in the morning, someone finding out and making us eat or go into hospital, giving up things that we love doing because theres no energy left inside, not being able to have kids later on because our periods have gone months ago, feeling out of breath and your heart feeling like its pounding out of our chest climbing upstairs, but the alternative is much more scary if we are to get healthy, we need to eat, if we eat we're going fat, if we get fat, all the extreme weight loss would have been for nothing and our lives would be out of control again.

When we do start to come out of anorexia, and decide that you need help to get better you need to talk to a trained professional in eating disorders. Finding the right one for you will mean ringing or emailing therapists in your area or close to it. Talk to them and listen to your gut instinct if this person will help raise your body and self image, self esteem, self confidence levels, teach you how to like and accept yourself no matter what weight you are. As well as teaching you about healthy eating habits and change your relationship with food. Trust and belief if the therapist is a major factor.

Support groups may be useful for your recovery as long as the others are on the road to recovery and not trying to sabotage your efforts or bring you down or slow down your recovery.

The first thing you can do is to get rid of the scales preferrably out of your house, stop looking at the clock or watch to see what time you allow yourself to have something to eat or when you have to exercise, and find someone like a friend or family member to talk to and tell them when you want to throw up, skip meals, over exercise or restrict food. Anorexia gets control and keeps control over you and your mind when you keep things to yourself and sharing things with someone even a pet will lessen the control it has over you. Its like the monsters that live in the dark, when you turn the light on they disappear, same thing

Myths about anorexia

Its all about food...
Its about control and when everything is out of control, restricting food or not eating is something that will give you control in your life

Anorexics don't get hungry...
Yes they do, and your sense of smell increases and all you want to do is eat something for comfort, because your body is crying out for something to eat, or simply because your not allowing yourself to eat.

You'll get fat if you start to eat...
You'll get healthy when you start to eat and gain back some weight.
Sometimes the pendullum swings the other way and you start to use food for comfort. The trick to avoid this is to raise your self esteem and confidence, body and self image and to love and accept yourself and your weight and have a healthy relationship with food.

Books to read
Self Matters Dr Phil
This books make you "get real" about yourself. It gives you tools on how to find your authentic self, how to heal from things that have been eating away at you and find closure, change the self limiting beliefs and tapes and it will change your life
I can make you thin Paul McKenna
I'm NOT recommending this book so you can loose weight, but it will give you very powerful tools and techniques on how to deal with body and self image. It will teach you how to change your relationship with food, accept yourself and so much more

I wrote this article in the hope that someone might find it and get to the point that they say "I deserve to be healthy, I need to get rid of its grip on my life, I'm tired of being scared, being controlled by this.

If your suffering from an eating disorder or you know someone who is suffering get help today, reach out to somebody who won't judge you but will support and listen to you. It's time to reclaim your life, You are a worthwhile, unique person with so much to give the world.

I've had anorexia, I've been there, done that got the t-shirt. I'm not someone who has read a lot of theories and books but hasn't had a problem with food. If you need to talk send me a message and I will get back to you.