During the opening scenes of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, as the hopefuls get out of the limo, you can help smiling, looking at how they are trying to impress and put on their Sunday best. Not so with The Bachelor Pad.
With The Bachelor Pad, you get the distinct idea that the cavalcade of contestants are more like a troupe coming out of a clown car heading towards the world's worst circus. Some of the contestants are fan favorites, but just as many are horrid people who should have been kept away from the bachelor and bachelorette by some well-placed tacks in the tire of the limo that brought them to the door during their initial stints.
But you be the judge. Here are the current contestants of The Bachelor Pad:
Ashley Elmore: She's the 30-year-old teacher who popped up in a flight attendant outfit to try to entice Pilot Jake Pavelka during Season 14 of The Bachelor. Her guile didn't work on Jake who cut her out and ended up with Vienna, a move he'll regret forever if you've been listening to their tabloid fights.
Craig McKinnon: He's the 34-year-old dental salesman from Toronto with the Donald Trump wannabe hair from Season 6 of The Bachelorette featuring girl-next-door Ali Fedotowsky.
Almost from the start Craig could have taken home the prize for how NOT to influence people and friends. Before meeting Ali, he told the producers: "When I go out and hit the clubs, I'm definitely good with the girls. It always goes over well."
As he took off in the limo after being eliminated, he scoffed and said he'd be picking up chicks in the airport. No problems. Unctuous is the only word to describe him. He was probably included because of his personal vendetta against Jonathan, known as the Weatherman. His crazy, mean antics knew no boundaries, however.
David Good: He's the 28-year old entrepreneur who tried to will Jillian's heart during Season 5 of The Bachelorette. Long remember as the crass bachelor, he conceived of a "man code." Just as Craig M. has an arch nemesis in Jonathan, the Weatherman, David G. has his own arch nemesis in Juan. If you thought there was drama in the various episodes of The Bachelor and Bachelorette count on it in spades during The Bachelor Pad.
Elizabeth Kitt: She's the 30-year-old saleswoman who told Jake that he was not to kiss her on the lips until she was the last woman standing. She read him a note to that effect during a group date which Jake seemed to respect. Then he decided she was a tease and he sent her packing on the third episode. She didn't stick around long enough to collect that kiss. The closest she got from Bachelor Jake Pavelkato was a kiss on the forehead.
Gia Allemand: She's the 26-year-old swimsuit model who has appeared in the pages of Maxim Magazine. Gia came seriously close to winning Jake's heart on The Bachelor, down to the final three. She left amid scandal of a boyfriend back home. She also had a romance with former Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano. At the very least, she'll make The Bachelor Pad interesting.
Gwen Giola: a project manager from Philadelphia, age unknown, who fans loved but the sentiments weren't shared by Bachelor Aaron Burge on The Bachelor's second season.
Jesse Beck: He's the tattooed, hunk contractor from Peculiar, Missouri who became the object of one of Craig M.'s lunatic rants during Season 6 of The Bachelorette with Ali Fedotowsky. According to Jesse, his best date memory includes an old-fashioned food fight.
Jesse Kovacs: He's the 28-year-old winemaker who made ice melt during an outing on a glacier with Bachelorette Jillian Harris in Season 5.
Jessie Sulidis: She's the 25-year-old cosmetics saleswoman trying to win Jake's heart in Season 14 who NARCed on fellow contestant Rozlyn Papa for having a "thing" with one of The Bachelor's employees.
Jonathan Novack: He's the 31-year-old weatherman who will forever go down in history as the guy who warned Bachelorette Ali in Season 6 that Craig M. was dangerous. He's a good sport whose antics will endear you or get on your nerves. Let's see how he fares this season sharing the house once again with Craig M.
Juan Barbieri: He's the 37-year-old contractor who was David Good's arch neminis during Season 5 of The Bachelorette with Jillian. Just as the Jonathan/Craig M. duo seems to be on the show for effect, so does the David Good and Juan from the fifth season of The Bachelorette.
Kiptyn Locke: He's the 32-year-old sales and operations manager from California remember for his gorgeous abs which he willingly showed during The Bachelorette Season 5 with Jillian Harris.
Krisily Kennedy: She's the 30-year-old personal assistant from California who ended up as the runner up during The Bachelor Season 7 starring Charlie O'Connell, Brother of Jerry O'Connell.
Michelle Kujawa: She's the 26-year-old saleswoman Jake Pavelka sent packing because he was disappointed by her kiss.
Natalie Getz: She's the 28-year-old bartender from Hollywood. She appeared on The Bachelor Season 13 with Jason Mesnick. She had a quirky affinity for bears which was her undoing on the show.
Nikki Kappke: She the 30-year-old administrative assistant from Chicago. She vied with Natalie for the attentions of Jason Mesnick during The Bachelor's 13th season.
Peyton Wright: She's the 27-year-old, girl-next-door cheerleader apparel saleswoman from who is the sole representative from The Bachelor's tenth season.
Tenley Molzhan: She will be forever known as the girl whose heart was ripped out by Jake Pavelka as runner up during Season 14 of The Bachelor. Most viewers believed Jake made a huge mistake choosingVienna over Tenley. Perhaps he's thinking the same thing today.
Wes Hayden: He's one of those latcher-on types known for trying for his 15 minutes of fame. He's a 33-year-old country musician from Texas who came clean about the fact that he really came on The Bachelorette Season 5 with Jillian Harris solely to become famous.
Follow up: Two were eliminated during the first show: Juan and Krisily. Jonathan summed up the Krisily elimination best: "How can you pin a rose on a straight jacket."
Next episode, Aug. 17, 8, p.m. EST on ABC.
Published by Kim Remesch - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment
Kim Remesch is an award-winning journalist in Baltimore. Her work appears in Entrepreneur, Business Start Ups, Police, Home Office Computing and more. She was editor in chief of Maryland Lifestyles (for thos... View profile
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4 Comments
Post a CommentThese people must be gluttons for punishment!
I absolutely loved the title.
Thank you, Laura. It was fun to write.
great job on this story