Life Can Change in the Blink of an Eye

Over the years, many past experiences have proved to me that life can definitely change in the blink of an eye. Sometimes the changes can be good or sometimes, like in the loss of a family member, they can be emotionally life changing and make you realize things that you never would have thought of before.

Case in point is the recent passing away of my father-in-law. To put it mildly, Dad was, for the most part, a royal pain in the butt. Everything had to be his way or no way and if you happened to be a female, forget it, you had no opinions or rights what-so-ever. For my husband's sake and because I always respect my elders, I put up with Dad and rarely made any waves.

When he would visit us and openly treat me or other women as slaves, just there to do his bidding and worth no other purpose, I ignored it, did as he said and told myself that is just the way he is and his visit will be over soon. Every once in awhile, I would comment to my husband that something Dad did at the time annoyed me or ticked me off. Like when I came home from work one day and found that he had painted all the outside brick borders around my plants, green and white. He had asked my husband for chores to do while we were at work so he wouldn't get bored. My husband told him he could paint the borders green. Dad decided that it would add "pizazz" if they were green and white. I do not like pizazz and I did not like the borders but Dad insisted that they needed to be that way so that's the way it was. Or like the time that he painted the step that leads from my garage into the house without letting me know or at least putting something there that would warn me that it was still wet! Needless to say that after a hard day at work, looking at the step that I use every day out of routine was not on my mind as I went to enter the house and of course - I stepped on still wet paint and tracked it into the hall. Again, I told myself that is Dad and his visit will be over soon.

One time I came home to discover that Dad decided we needed a different furnace so while we were at work, he bought a used furnace and he and a friend installed it. Don't get me wrong, the gesture was very thoughtful on Dad's part and I really did appreciate the thought. It's just that he and his friend had no idea of how to properly install it and they had pipes and ducts hanging everywhere, some of which were not high enough for you to walk under without hitting your head if you are six feet tall like my husband is! Yet again, I told myself that is just Dad and his visit will be over soon.

I could go on and on with Dad's antics, but to get back to my point, sad to say Dad's visits are over now and will never happen again. He got sick in March and died in May. So, almost in the blink of an eye, our lives have changed. What I have come to realize during my grieving period is that I cared more for Dad than I ever knew I did. His passing has saddened me more than I thought it would and right now I would give anything to come home and find that he painted something he shouldn't have, or scratched my table again by throwing his keys. Or to hear him demandingly say, "you never put enough ice in my drinks, get me more".

I will treasure even my not-so-fond memories of Dad because memories are all I will ever have now. Now I will be telling myself, Dad was Dad and his visits ended way too soon.