Life Cycle of a Relationship

I woke up this morning to the growl and moan of a dog that desperately needed to pee. She glared over the side of the bed pleeding with me to uncurl myself and let her go do her duties. So reluctantly I crawled outside, leash in hand, to find the most beautiful day waiting for me. It's funny how a little sunshine can shake the blues right off you.

After I relieved the beast I decided maybe it was time to get back to running. I glared at myself in the mirror cursing the ten pounds I've put on since having added a boyfriend to my life. (Ever notice those two things seem to go hand in hand? Boyfriends and bellies?) But my shoes still fit so I slide in and hit the sidewalk.

I do my best thinking there. On the street, cars racing by, with only the occasional "good morning" exchanged with a stranger to interrupt my thoughts. My mind races (sadly much faster than my feet). I'm thinking about my life and how it has changed. I'm thinking about the friends I miss and what direction I might go in next. I'm thinking about what outfit I'll put on later and what I'll make for dinner. Typical moments inside a woman's head. But most of all I'm thinking about being in love and how you ever get there in the first place.

The life cycle of a relationship is a funny thing really. You meet someone, and for whatever unexplained reason you decided that one person deserves your attention so then....the game is on. In the beginning it's all teasing and role playing. Trying to figure out who they are and how much of you you're willing to show. Making sure to let them know you like them, but not too much. It's a balancing act, a tight rope walk, and it's scary and so exciting because there is a chance you could be making memories of the "us" to come, and knowing that makes it that much more interesting. But then there's that chance that you're waisting your time...but isn't that a lovely chance to take? It's nervous moments and staying up too late, too much time spent getting ready and wishing you didn't have to work. It's trading stories and eating out, its laughing until your stomach hurts.

And before you know it "me" becomes "we" and it's just assumed you'll be together wherever you go. Talk about the past turns to subtle suggestions of a future together. It's your house or mine, you should meet my folks, and what are we doing this weekend. It's doing the couple thing, trying not to alienate your single friends, but accidentally doing it anyway, it's comfortable and it feels good.

You slide from one stage to the next ignoring the fear in the back of your mind. Knowing there's only good things to come. Before you know it you're moving in. Now the "me" is truly a "we" and it feels pretty damn good. It's praying the dogs will get along, it's never having to face the scoundrels in Walmart alone, it's cooking dinner, and staying in on a Friday night, it's belly laughs, and silly songs, it's watching the Discovery channel, and comfortable silence, it's still feeling sexy in pajamas and I love you's without ever saying a word. It's having your best friend with you all the time. It's a beautiful life and you're thanking God for it everyday.

I could go on to finish off the life cycle of a relationship and say that 99% of the relationships in your life will die a horrible gruesome death, only to be reborn and start the damn thing all over again. But I won't.

I turn the corner and see our house sitting on our quiet street. The only sound I hear is the dogs barking as they play together. I smile because my best friend waits for me inside. He doesn't care about the 10 pounds I've put on, and for the moment I don't either because it's a beautiful day and there's a park to go to and belly laughs to be had.

And while it's interesting to think about, it doesn't matter how I got here, it only matters that I'm here.