Life is Killing Me!!

Money should be a tool, not a goal.

Why do DVD Player remotes have an eject button? You have to get off your tush to change it anyway!

What does a brain fart smell like?

Light overcomes darkness, but darkness can never overcome light.

How does an individual, whether fighting on his own behalf or with an army, claim to be fighting for peace by doing the very thing he is attempting to rid the world of? Would not a perfect defense be better?

Have you ever done something just to kill time? It didn't work.

I used to play chess against myself. I quit because I kept losing!

The phrase, "Indian Giver", should rather be called, "Congressional Giver", however Congressional giver is an oxymoron.

Life is a journey on a "Dead end" road.

Hot dogs and bologna are white mans version of the Native American concept of wasting nothing. (eww)

Have you ever cut corners to save time? Can I borrow some?

If dawn breaks, then how can it work tomorrow?

The only battle ever won, is the one that's never fought.

Microsoft is so bad, my WinXP solitaire deck is missing a card!

Would someone please tell Nintendo that it is actually nine, ten, eleven.

Rumor:

The concept of anatomically correct dolls came from someone whom, at the age of 20 still didn't know there was a difference.