Life and the Laws of Soccer

I just finished a class for becoming an Advanced Referee in AYSO. Being a soccer referee carries many life lessons with it since there are rules (called laws) but the enforcement needs to happen in context. Here are life lessons that can be gained from officiating a soccer match:

#1 Follow the Laws
There are laws to follow like in real life. The laws are designed for fairness and the safety of the players. This makes me think of a government that is established to set up laws to care for the citizens and not just control them.

#2 Enforce the "Spirit" of the Law
Sometimes bad things happen to good people who break a law - let's say a minor law. You're on a road with few cars and you don't see a stop sign until it's too late. You slow down but drift through the intersection. A police car pulls you over. He has every right to cite you but let's say he warns you because he's going to give you the benefit of the doubt. He's enforcing the "spirit" of the law and not the letter of the law. This also reminds me of raising children within the social services system where social workers may need to make judgment calls on foster parents who are doing their best (another topic).

In soccer, you don't penalize every foul or incident. You have to look at many factors including "why" an incident occurred. A player runs off the field without your permission. You could caution him or her. But if he or she's hurt then you would only make the player, coach and their teammates mad by not showing "grace."

#3 Context
What is the situation occurring? In soccer, a defender may trip an attacker. A foul. However, you see the attacker stumbles but re-gains possession of the ball and heads to the goal. You don't call a foul because it's to the advantage of the attacker to let play develop. Natural consequences are shaping your decision.

Okay, your son or daughter gets home late on a Tuesday night when they agreed they were going to be home to study. They're a junior in high school and you want to ground them because they have a test they now didn't study for. And if they get one more tardy they'll be in detention. Let natural consequences shape your decision. If they're too tired, they sleep in and it's too late them to get them to school - oops! Too bad for them they didn't take responsibility. Context helps us make key decisions.

#4 Safety and Fairness along with Trifling and Doubtful
The referee is concerned with player safety and fairness. The laws should be applied with this general framework. Referees should not constantly call fouls that are trifling or doubtful. This can ruin the enjoyment of the game. The same with the laws that govern our country or even our families. Too many trifling little laws cost money proportionately too much money to enforce. In families, too many little laws take away the enjoyment of the family relationships.

The moral of the article is think like a soccer referee for success in life: know and follow the laws, be gracious in carrying out the "spirit" of the law and knowing the context and be concerned with the safety and well-being of others.