Life Lesson: Why You Need to Be Selfish for Yourself

Back in the days when I was nice to any Tom, Dick and Hairy who happened to be within 50 feet of me, I was a doormat. I would give someone the shirt off my back despite the fact that they had two of their own, and where did that get me? Now I'm still plenty nice, you just have to earn it from me.

Perhaps this is one of those realizations that come with age. The "Life's Too Short Not To Go Top Shelf!" mentality.

It's true. Life's too short to continuously short- change yourself. The idea of "Top Shelving" everything isn't so bad. Frankly, I'd rather spend my money on one really good drink instead of a handful of mediocre ones.

Top Shelving isn't just about cocktails, though. It isn't necessarily about possessions at all, but more about how you treat yourself from one day to the next. Last night I was accused of making everything in life all about me. My answer?

"Um.. Yeah. And your life should be all about you."

At first I'm sure a lot of you blanched at that idea. I'll admit it sounds pretty self-centered. Well, because it is! And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a little self centered! Yep. I said it. Now say it with me..

"My life is about me."

One more time because I didn't hear enough conviction in your collective voices:

MY LIFE IS ABOUT ME!!!!

I'm really sick of the idea that selfish = bad. What's wrong with a little self-indulgence anyway? I mean, it's your life and only you get to live it. The question you need to ask yourself is: are you living your life your way or are you living someone else's idea of what your life should be?

It's like this: When you wake up in the morning, whether you're waking up next to a partner or waking up to care for your children or walk your dog, you wake up. You alone start your day and you alone live your life. So how are you going to live it? Are you going to deny yourself the big or little pleasures in life because someone who isn't you may have a problem with it?

Guess what. If you want to chow on a box of Godiva truffles for lunch instead of a power bar, do it! As long as you're happy afterwards, what's the big deal? When you're old and on your death bed, what do you want to look back on? The fact that you shopped at WalMart every Saturday breathing in the chemical stench of cheaply made plastic everything, or those few self-indulgent afternoons you spent wandering around Sacks Fifth Avenue-- even if you didn't spend a dime-- running your hands along the softest fabrics and admiring the shiniest jewels? Are you going to be happy you settled for the first man who asked for your hand or are you going to smile because although you wound up marrying a little later in life you held out, and got exactly the man and life you wanted?

I choose column B.

I'm going Top-Shelf or I'm not going at all!