Life Lessons from 'Eat, Pray, Love'

Going through my own marital breakdown prompted me to watch the previews for the Julia Roberts movie "Eat, Pray, Love" with keen interest. I could relate to a woman watching her marriage fall apart and wondering who she really was. I decided to go see the movie and asked my best friend since kindergarten, Amy, to go with me.

The story of "Eat, Pray, Love" comes from the memoir of the same name by Elizabeth Gilbert, a writer in search of her own soul after her marriage ends. She sets out on a year-long journey to discover herself. What she discovers is the joy of food, friendship and savoring the moment in Italy; the value of clearing out the clutter in her mind and her life in India; and the balance of loving herself before she can love someone else in Bali - hence the title, "Eat, Pray, Love."

In so many ways I could identify with Liz. When Julia Roberts as Liz in "Eat, Pray, Love" felt her life was spiraling downward and she didn't know what to do she decided to talk to God in one of the most heartwrenching scenes in the movie. She cries bitter tears as she begs for help and I cried as well because I've been there - when my tears and sobs ate up any words that I could manage to speak. I knew how it felt to feel helpless and Roberts portrayed the scene so well that I felt those emotions all over again.

What life lessons did I get from "Eat, Pray, Love?" As I watched Liz journey through her grief over the break up of her marriage, then her jump into a rebound relationship and its implosion, I first learned that loving someone else can't happen unless you first love yourself. Loving who you are has to happen before there is any capacity to love another with any depth or length.

In Italy, Liz learned the joy of just. . .living. Living in the moment. Living fully. Living with joy. She discovered the concept of la dolce vita or the sweet life. The sweet life is just simply, living and enjoying every moment. It is enjoying a picnic by yourself on the floor while wearing a negligee. It is eating Thanksgiving turkey for breakfast with friends. It is loving yourself with all the gray hair, stretch marks and extra flab.

After leaving Italy, Liz went to India to get in touch with her spiritual side. There she learned the value of just being. She discovered that opening herself to forgiveness and letting go of the past is an important step in stepping into the future. One of the most poignant things that I got from the time spent in India in the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" was the concept of not feeling guilt or obsessing when someone else misses you. Liz was told that when she misses someone or they miss her - "send them (thoughts of) light and life then drop it." Simple, yet profound words.

In Bali, Liz goes back to the medicine man who first told her that her life would be changing - before her marriage ended. In Bali Liz discovers the value of love - the "Love" part in "Eat, Pray, Love." When she is not looking for love, it runs her over - quite literally. The man she eventually falls in love with runs her off the road by accident. Through simply living and living simply, Liz learns that it is okay to allow herself to love someone and be loved by them. More importantly, she rediscovers that caring for others is worth the trouble.

While watching "Eat, Pray, Love" I laughed, I cried, I grew. It is strange to say that a movie helped me through a rough spot in my life in just two hours' time but it did. I came away feeling refreshed, hopeful and yes, even alive. In some ways, I began to understand a sense of who I am and who I am becoming on my own - much like Liz did.

Yes, I would love to have a year and unlimited funds to travel and discover some of these life lessons myself but I don't have that luxury. I have three children and a life to rebuild and while I can't go to Bali (but oh do I want to!) I can slow down my living and enjoy each moment as it comes. Yes, learning to love myself and love others is part of the journey and along with la dolce vita, it is what I have decided to embrace after watching "Eat, Pray, Love."