Life in the Low 40's: Single and Having Grandchildren at Age 43

It's the way of the South is what they used to say when you got married at a very young age (18 yrs old) but now 24 years later at age 43 I am soon to be a Grandmother. Wow, this is what happens to people that have gray hair and have arthritis and are retired from work. Somehow I skipped all of that and my first daughter (Ashley) is having a baby in May.

I'm single, young looking, live with my boyfriend Michael (that wants children himself), and don't have a job or any kind of retirement. Does any of that sound familiar? It's amazing how many girlfriends I have that are in the same position as I am...well without being a grandmother. I don't know anyone my age that is going to be a grandmother. I have 3 girls and started having children at age 18 yrs old. I have a great relationship with them, I talk to them about 3 to 4 times a day. I sometimes feel like I have permanent girlfriends for life but we never fight and if there is a difference I seem to win. It's great sometimes. My oldest daughter 24yrs old (Ashley) just got married in November 2008 and now having a baby in May 2009, the second daughter 22 years old (Abbi) is in college, and the youngest 18 years old (Gabrielle)...well, she seems to have a little problem with what she really wants to do with her life and seems to know everything. She really drives me CRAZY.

Let's see my relationship, I have a boyfriend named Michael and he is 43 also but has no children. He was married but his mom and dad didn't want him to have children so for 13 years the entire duration of his marriage he didn't have any. He is Iranian and with all due respect to his parents he chose to put that part off until one day. So, now he wants them and I am going to be a grandmother...how do you start all over with a 9 month pregnancy and having a new family and have Grandchildren also? Can't you see if now, me pushing a dual stroller and people wanting to know if they are twins and I have to reply, "No, ones my granddaughter and the other is my child". That would be weird. Michael and I recently went to a fertility doctor just to see what our options were just in case we choose to have babies. I'm sure choosing to do so will put a wonderful twist on this whole story. I really enjoy my life, I don't have much stress other than helping taking care of his mom and dad's medical problems. We own our own business (it's a family business) and one day I would love to have a reality show for that. The business is currently being ran by two brothers. Family businesses always seem to have control issues. I'm not really sure why people want to incorporate their children into a business where they have no other option than to fight and have animosity towards each other. It's always a competition at work and in their personal life.

Most of my girlfriends are like me and don't have much of a career but have children and are single. We seem to be good support for each other. Will until one of us gets into an argument with our significant other and than it seems like there is a domino affect and it's just a matter of time for all of us to fight with our boyfriends. I wonder if it has to do with our environment with our girlfriends or is it just in the air. We all just dream of the day we could have a normal life like we once did when we were all married.

Back to my Grandparent status, how many people do you know that are having grandkids but still get carded when they want to have a beer or glass of wine? I just wonder will there be a day where I am going to feel like a grandmother? Is my life with my boyfriend going to end when my granddaughter is born? I wonder if he can handle the situation of being a grandfather before being a dad. He seems to have a great relationship with me and my children. My girls look at him as their playmate. And, what is going to happen if him and I don't have children...maybe it's not even an option at this age. Will he be satisfied at this age just being a grandfather?

At age 43 I have found a lot more stress on me with my current living situation and having children at the older age of what mine are. If they were younger would there be less stress of having Michael raise them or is there less stress on him now with him soon to be a grandfather? Can I even call him that?

I wonder if I will be satisfied at age 43 and having the lifestyle that I do.