Life from a Snail's Point of View

Snails

If you were a snail your world's boundaries would be infinite. You would walk slowly all around, and it would be impossible to cover even one-tenth of the Earth's circumference. The skyscrapers of your life would be the blades of grass. A tree would appear to hit the blue sky and the suns rays would look appear to you as blinding beams of fire. The frogs would be amiable monsters, and the birds would fly above as dragons. A drop of rain would be like a giant thunderstorm, and if it landed on your head you would feel pain envelop your whole body. Proportions would defeat you. Your life's mission is to obey the overseer. It is one day's goal to slug your way to the dirt mound. Your master, who in turns humbles in the "chain of life", solely controls your communication. You don't believe in the chain of life, for it takes advantage of your cowardice. You must defeat these proportions, which apply to all humans also. You must take advantage of your disadvantages. Your sticky, sluggish, nasty body is subject to a woodpecker's desires. If you are bound to a dreadful fate, you figure, then why not be optimistic. At least you carry a beautiful spiral body, which even the colossal master of life prize.

You need to rely on that unrelenting paranoia to live. Because you have learned that in real life people cannot fully be trusted. Parents are among the few that can be trusted. Maybe in the future you will conquer the snail colony and make them kings of the land. Being the revolutionary snail, you will have your shell encrusted with silver and sapphire, and you will have a Taco Bell built in your bedroom. You will acquire huge creatures such as the hawks, ants, and maybe even a legend crocodile. You will then build a just empire where the ant and the anteater would sit and consult with one another. The frog would stare amicably at the mosquito, and dare not lash its tongue out and gulp it. Then you can use the chain of life to your advantage. Soon, you would have enough power to challenge the mightiest of all the creatures on the the earth: humans. You would first need to find a robotic body to use as a vehicle. Snails and slugs would not be disparaged ever again. Being slow in movement would be respected, and all creatures would become slow to show respect. Even the frogs would stop jumping around - no, they would have to also drop down on the bellies and crawl slowly. It would be a tribute to the power of snails.