Lifetime of Memories

My life is plain and simple, but yet simply confusing and hectic at times. I was born on June 12, 1984 in the small town of Seminole, Oklahoma. I came home to my two sisters, Melissa and Shannon, and a loving mother and father, Nan and Carson. I do not remember much about my childhood other than a few small details. There are many gaps that have never been filled and I imagine never will. Of the times I do remember, I will reminisce upon.

When I was five I came out of the bathroom after bathing and went into the living room to get dressed because it was the warmest room of the house. That is when my parents noticed that I had a huge lump protruding from my stomach. They took me to the doctor to get it checked out, only to discover that I had an umbilical hernia and had to have surgery to correct the issue. I remember faintly going to Children's Hospital in Oklahoma City and having blood drawn repeatedly along the course of a few months. Then when it was time for surgery I remember getting up at five in the morning and taking the short drive to the hospital because we had stayed with my grandmother and step-grandfather. I also remember my parents eating and me not being allowed to eat or drink anything due to the surgery. The smell of bacon made my mouth water, but I could not have anything. When we arrived at the hospital I played patiently in the waiting room and was then pulled into a private room for them to prepare me for the long surgery. My mother still has a picture of me in a surgical cap holding a teddy bear that they had given me with a stethoscope on the bear's heart.

When it was time I was wheeled down the hall on the gurney as they told me to count to ten. I woke up later that day with a severe pain in my throat, which was caused from the tubes of the breathing machine. Mom told me also why it was as sore as it was. The severe soreness was from the fact that I had tried to pull out the tubes, so finally Mom had to tell them to just take them out. Before I could leave the hospital I had to drink something. I remember forcing myself to drink orange juice, which was a very bad choice on the nurse's part. Why is it that after surgery, after tubes are taken out and your throat is raw, they like to make you drink an acidic drink?

After we left the hospital I was too weak to walk so my father carried me on his shoulders the block or block and a half we had to walk to get to our car. We then drove towards Seminole and decided to stop by Pitstop Restaurant and grab a bite to eat. I still did not want to eat anything because I was still groggy and my throat was sore. I think all my parents could get me to do was drink hot chocolate as I lay in the booth.

The next few weeks I stayed home from school as the doctor ordered. To this day I remember when the bandage was taken off and my stomach was so sticky that we had to try to get the glue off. Mom scrubbed my belly with soap and water; the glue did not come off. She scrubbed with fingernail polish remover, it still would not budge. Finally we decided it would just have to wear off, even though it itched horribly and was a great annoyance because my shirt would stick to my stomach.

Another occasion I remember is a happy time. When I was around the age of five or six, our neighbors owned chickens, ducks, and geese. One day a duck wandered onto our property. I decided I was going to catch this duck. I moved hay bails around one of our farm trucks to corner this duck. How I moved hay bails at this age, I do not know. Maybe it was the determination, or maybe they were really light. I ran the duck under the truck and when he turned around to run back out, I swept him up and into my arms. I came to the back door with my prize duck and yelled for Mom to come open the door. She did and I told her that I had caught the duck and it was going to be my pet. Mom told me that it had to be released to go back home to the neighbors. I was crushed because I went to all that trouble of catching him. When you look back at things you did as a kid, you need to smile. This is just one of the happy times I remember.

Another childhood memory of mine is when I used to play in our back yard. I had fun playing in the dirt and making mud pies. When I was young, I would much rather play in the dirt and mud with cars instead of a Barbie. To this day I still do not have the patience to put clothes on a Barbie doll. I could sit outside and play for hours in the mud. I would make towns and castles. Sticks were always my people.

I also remember staying with my Grandma and Grandpa a lot. They lived up the hill from my parents' house and I loved spending time with them. I used to ride to town with them and do grocery shopping for a dear friend of theirs, Buster. After we completed his grocery shopping we would drive to his house and deliver the food and other various items. We would then just sit and talk. To this day I miss seeing Buster every week, but he is in a much better place now. When I stayed with my grandparents, we were always playing games, such as Hi Ho Cherry-o or Chinese Checkers. When I was a little older we started playing more card games like Canasta and Samba. We always worked jigsaw puzzles too. To be quite honest when I was five, I could put together a one hundred piece puzzle, but I could not say my alphabet. My cousin was the opposite in that he could say his alphabet and count to ten, but could not even put one piece of a puzzle together.

When I spent the night at my grandparents in the summertime, we would always sit on the front porch at night. I would usually play with a ball and toss it on the roof and let it roll down and catch it. I also played with grasshoppers and practically anything else I could find. When it rained hard their yard had a low spot that would fill with water. One time Grandma told me that if I wanted to play in it I could. I had a great day, and I bet they had a wonderful time watching me play in this huge puddle for hours too. When nighttime came, we would all sit in the living room and watch Lawrence Welk on television and eat ice cream. Boy those were fun times. My grandfather has since then passed away and I miss him dearly, but I know I will see him one day.

As I have grown older, I have tried to keep these memories alive by talking to my grandmother, mother, sisters, and husband. I tell the duck story to my nieces and nephews. Whether memories are good or bad in life, they are still memories. They are the past, not the future. Memories are here to guide us and show us right from wrong. Bad things do happen to good people. I could go on more to tell you about my life and the bad memories I have, but the bad memories do outweigh the good. Life is bittersweet and you need to enjoy it to the fullest. Learn from your mistakes in the past, and try to remember the good times. I did not bother to tell you that I was raped at 13, or that my father is in a nursing home. I did not bother to tell you that I have been in an abusive relationship or that I am bipolar. I strictly told you about one medical issue that I had, and a few good memories. My reasoning for this was to show you that life is what you make it. Enjoy every minute of every day because your days are numbered here on earth. Life is precious.
This year has been one of the hardest years of my life. This year my wonderful husband lost his oldest brother to a massive heart attack at the young age of 36. Some of you may think that 36 is not young, but I do. Hold those dear to you close, and spend as much time with them as possible. If you notice all of the memories I reminisced about today included my loved ones. This is because even if the memory was not as good as some it is still important in the fact that it made me appreciate life even more. Do not take life for granted. I am only 23, but I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life. Don't let life make you bitter, let life make you a better person. Believe in yourself and things will get better. There are rocky points in all of our lives, make those points seem like nothing to you but a memory and life will become a lot easier.