LifeTime StreetCourt Portable Basketball Hoop

Stiff, rigid and hard are three qualities that might be good for some things, but they are liabilities for basketball hoops and backboards. Let me explain what I mean: The basketball hoop and backboard at my neighborhood park are made of solid, unforgiving, don't-get-in-my-face steel. Unless you swish the ball in, you will not score two points.

If, for example, the ball even barely touches the rim or backboard, it will be beeyatch-slapped by said rim or backboard, and fly in the air, then ricochet off some fat old lady's chest while she walks her wiener dog in the park.

The result is a fat old lady hitting you upside the head with her purse and telling you that you suck! I can safely attest that my percentage of two-pointers sags significantly when I play with stiff, rigid and hard equipment.

That's why I really dig the LifeTime StreetCourt Portable 44 71506. Don't ask me what 44 71506 means. I think it might be the fat old lady's measurements. Anyway, the backboard is made of soft, forgiving plastic or fiberglass. The rim is metal, but is attached to the backboard with a spring. Hence it also gives.

When I hit the square on the backboard, the ball almost always ricochets into the hoop. When I hit the edge of the rim with the basketball, the spring causes the rim to give, and the ball slides in the hoop. Can you say TWO POINTS?

Well I can say it 50% more often since my team and I switched to the SteetCourt Portable. The name of my team, by the way, is Team Gold-Plated Nose Hairs. We imagined what would happen if King Midas picked his nose; we then named our team after it.

This portable basketball court comes with a plastic hollow base that has plastic wheels in the front-that makes it easy to move. The plastic base can be filled with water-that makes the court sturdy when you are ready to get your hoop-grove on.

If you live in an area where temperatures fall below freezing, I highly recommend and exhort you to only fill the plastic base only three-quarters full of water. Water expands when it freezes, and can put a crack in your base the size your maintenance man has when he stoops.

The pole that connects to the backboard and the base is adjustable from around eight feet to regulation height. There are adjustment holes. Just pick the height you want, then slip the stiff, hard bolt in the selected hole and secure it with the nut. The nut can be turned by hand and does not require a wrench.

This basket ball court can be set up in a driveway, yard or even the street. If you set it up on the street, watch out for inbred, psycho truck drivers who run over fat old ladies with wiener dogs.

Where Can I Buy One? Lifetime Warranty?

I bought mine from a garage sale held by a friend whose girlfriend had shoved his head through a window. He needed to raise some cash to pay his doctor bills. Anyway, I paid only $50 for it. He informed me that he paid $189 for it brand new, and warned me that there is no lifetime warranty as the LifeTime name might imply.

The real warranty is no more than two years according to him. To get more information regarding the warranty and which stores carry this product, visit www.lifetime.com.

Any Problems?

Sure there are problems. One is the fact that the net is made of some sort of cheap yarn possibly made from the loom of a fat old lady with a wiener dog. When I bought this court used, there was a big gaping hole in the net the size of the federal deficit. According to my friend who sold me this fine product, normal wear-and-tear caused it, i.e., playing basketball.

The other problem is there is no drain plug at the bottom of the base. Once you put the water in the fill hole that is located near the back top part of the base, you have to tip the whole apparatus backwards at a really uncomfortable angle to get the water out. A separate drain plug at the bottom would make drainage much easier. Oh well. Woulda, shoulda, coulda.

Final Shot

Overall, I rate this product four stars. Sure you have the cheap net possibly sewn by the fat old lady with the wiener dog, and you have the drainage problem. However, you will feel like Michael Jordan when you try this baby out.

(Swish!) ...and he scores! The crowd goes wild! Team Gold-plated Nose Hairs wins!