Lillian's Lifesong

"Pain is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world."-C.S. Lewis, Christian author/novelist (1898-1963)
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If we were all utterly honest, most of us would admit we've known that person who, at least on the surface, appears to have it all together. You know who they are. Your next door neighbor who owns the $500,000 luxury car. Your friend at church with the cushy career and six-digit salary. Their lives seem to operate in a synchronous rhythm, as would a perfectly orchestrated piece of symphony music; a song that broadcasts the happiness of their life. But what about the other people? Those who struggle just to make ends meet? The people whose lives rise and fall in pain and joy like the ocean waves during a violent, sporadic storm? What is their "lifesong"?

As the most recent theories of scientific and psychological research postulate that depressed and lonely individuals can benefit from increasing their regular TV-viewing hours, one woman wholeheartedly disagrees. Though she would be quick to tell you she is a fan of several television shows and movies, particularly actor Tony Shalhoub's hit series Monk (created by Writer/Producer Andy Breckman), she simultaneously asserts and concurs with the inherent dangers in becoming mentally or emotionally over-attached to fictional characters. Lillian, 48 and wife of twenty-five years, is no stranger to feeling a deep need for relational security and stability. Having endured years of physical and emotional abuse throughout her childhood, she identifies with issues such as depression, abandonment, and loneliness better than most. She will be the first to admit she does not "have it all together." However, she also encourages children, teens, or adults facing such issues to seek out sound, Bible-based guidance and counsel.

"I don't think that science has the answers to the problems our hearts and souls face," she says. "The answers are found in wrestling with God until you reach the other side and in feeling completely safe and secure in His love. And this is a process. It's not an event; it's not a one-time counseling session. It's about dealing with one issue or wound at a time as it comes to the surface. And I don't think that science, television, or movies can fix all of that."

This "quick fix" method of counseling and psychological treatment is nothing new in the science world. Unfortunately, using television as a substitution for real-world, interpersonal, healthy, community-oriented relationships, will likely result in an entire generation of individuals who become more depressed than they were to begin with. As many Biblical commentators and pastors have noted, it is indeed a temporary fix to a long-term problem. However, this does not, in any way, rule out the benefits of television. Over the course of our interview, Lillian spoke of how certain movies and television shows have actually helped her in mental and emotional ways.

"Television and movies may have storylines and characters that you can identify with," she noted. "They can help you when you need to get your emotions out, which is typically how I've used television. When I need to cry, but I can't, and my heart is exploding with hurts from the past or the present, I can pop in my favorite movie, identify with the character, cry my eyes out, our laugh until I can't anymore...whatever it takes to work through the pain or the emotions. When the movie is over and I get up, my life is still the same, but I've had an emotional release. The movie hasn't changed my circumstances or cured anything, it has just helped to give me a little bit of a release."

As we saw in the story of David found in 1 Samuel 22, people do indeed need deep, interactive relationships with real people. But let's face it. Bible characters aren't the most tangible forms of evidence around. So, to borrow one of Lillian's favorite phrases, here is "someone with skin on", who has struggled through the deep, dark, lonely caves of life, and emerged on the other side via sound, Scriptural truth and Biblical counsel. She is real. Her issues were and still are real. I sat with her. I saw the tears. But I also saw the hope. I saw the smiles. I saw the unshakeable assurance.

"God knows how to speak to you, but so does the media world," she warned. "And they are not motivated by a love for you. They are motivated by what makes money. Yes, they can write gripping, heart-wrenching, gut-busting films and TV series that result in huge ratings and loads of cash, but their motivation is not one of love. This is not to say that many writers/directors/producers do not hope good will come from their work, but my guess is that 99% of their motivation is the almighty dollar, not the condition of someone's heart and soul. God can, however, use films and TV series as catalysts to bring people to Him. He can use anything. One of my favorite movies is The Hiding Place, the story of the missionary Corrie Ten Boom. It helped me to understand that, although hurt and pain are still a part of your life, it doesn't define who you are. The counseling process does not make issues, past circumstances, and pains go away and never come back. They still surface. But they are not at the forefront, controlling your life. When I hit my bathroom floor, crying my eyes out, it's God who pulls me back up. It's not television and it's not Hollywood. I can turn to Jesus Christ."
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"I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do."-Corrie ten Boom, from The Hiding Place

©2009 Joshua D. Givens & The Underground Christian Magazine

For more feature articles, news, and commentary on pop culture from a Christian perspective, visit The Underground at: www.theundergroundsite.com.

This article was originally published here: http://theundergroundsite.com/index.php/2009/08/lillians-lifesong/