Limericks: G Rated

On September 10, 1997, while driving north on highway 99 near Visalia, California, a limerick popped into my head. This was a completely new and a really strange experience - for it was the first time ever for me to write a limerick. The limericks kept coming - some days none and other days up to a dozen to the extent that my original writings now exceed five hundred in number and allude to many different subjects. My primary categories are God's People, Taekwondo and Everyday Life - and they are all G rated. Here are some examples:

Martial Arts is my main fun - inspirational!

Is there aught just three people can do?
Yesiree, if they're like me and you!
From bo's to be twirled
to changing the world -
and, in fact, it may take less than two.

[bo is a martial arts weapon - a round stick like the hanger in your closet.]

Instructor training all day with an early start - abhorrant to a night person like me.

As for my spirit, dear sir, its replete!
And my physical approaches compete.
But I'm sorry to say
at this time of day,
Sir, that my mental; remains on delete.

This is a nutty one.

The creation of quality limericks
should be left to us out in the sticks.
We know what is good
for your neighborhood
even though we are certified hicks.

Many like these were written during the sermon.

Oh Lord, I am sick in the "haid" -
for I cannot find my hearing aid.
But when I call you,
you always come through,
and you don't even ask to be paid.

This is about tithing [10%].

Now forever's a very long time
for a talker or even a mime.
God's promises last
whatever our past -
a terrfic return for a "dime"!

Another fun surprise is my collection of original lyrics to the tune of Jingle Bells - several verses about general subjects and one or more verses for each member of my family.