Limericks About University of Louisville's Basketball Coach Rick Pitino and His Sex Scandal

There once was a Louisville Coach named Rick
Who did something at a restaurant pretty sick
He almost ruined his life for
A woman named Sypher
That's what happens when you think with your....

There was a coach named Ricky P
Whose story seemed fishy to me.
You can call me a raging cynic
But I think his trip to the Cleveland Clinic
Was for a raging case of VD

There once was a playboy named Pitino
Whose sordid story has me turning green-o
He had a chick at Porcini's
Like she was a plate of linguini
All 'cuz he couldn't control his libido

It's clear from reading recent reports
A certain coach can't keep it in his shorts
His nickname once was "Slick"
But now it might be "Quick"
The trick is to think about sports

If you're a famous guy it must be heaven
To have sex with a girl or seven
If you fall into a scandal
It's nothing you can't handle
Just apologize and invoke 9-11.

As Rick Pitino gave Porcini's owner the key
The owner said "what are you doing to me?"
We'll never be able
To get the stains off that table
And the health department'll give us a "C"

While Rick's assistant was taking a napper
Rick was getting busy in the crapper
He asked the owner if he
"could name a dish after me."
And so he's serving Italian sausage with aged snapper