Lindsay Lohan: Paranoid, Self-Important, Has-Been Suing E-Trade Over Name

Lindsay Lohan is not in the "One-Name Club," but she seems to think she is. Either that, or her drug-riddled mind has finally snapped, and now anyone on the planet named Lindsay is in direct reference to her. According to "OMG" from Yahoo! America's favorite has-been is suing e-trade for using the generic name Lindsay in a commercial without her permission.

Is an appearance in a courtroom a good idea for Lindsay Lohan? No.

Ms Lohan: Do yourself a favor and stick to your sponsors within the program. I don't think any appearance in a court of law will net you anything other than the curiosity of law enforcement. Don't you know they have drug-sniffing dogs in those buildings? Oh. I forgot. Your brain is so addled from chemical interference that you're too paranoid to hear the name Lindsay without thinking "they" are talking about you.

Of course her attorney agrees with her. She's paid to!

The poor girl imagines herself on a similar standing with such greats as Cher, Madonna, Elvis, or even Elmo. Okay. Madonna might not be such a good example of greatness. But her name is recognized on a first-name basis. Lindsay Lohan, sadly, is not. Attorney for Lindsay Lohan, Stephanie Ovadia, can't really be faulted for being willing to do the work either. This is, after all, her stock in trade. Nope. This all falls on the former actress's delusions of grandeur.

Is the name "Lindsay" synonymous with "Lindsay Lohan?"

Heck no. When I saw the commercial aired during the Big Game, I thought to myself "Aww...what a cute baby." In no way does that baby resemble a twenty-three year old former star who resembles a thirty year old crack head. I hope the parents of the baby sue Ms Lohan, for defamation of character, in trying to associate the innocent little tyke with a known felon. Most "Lindsays" I know are actually offended if their name is associated with Ms Lohan.

I hope Lindsay Lohan gets laughed at by the jury.

This case isn't just one that merits the jury finding in favor of the defendant. This is a case that merits jeers and cat-calls from the jury box. Images of paper planes bouncing off of her head in the courtroom come to mind. Let's not forget those spit-balls. Of course, no judge will allow such behavior in a courtroom. So I'll just have to settle for the satisfaction of never needing to suffer through another over-acted, badly written movie, that she performs in again.

What's Lindsay Lohan really up to? Is this a cry for help?

I actually feel sorry for the former star. The Megalomaniacal stage of recovery is difficult. This seems to be a case of Lindsay Lohan trying to find her way through the real emotions she must deal with since the drugs aren't there anymore to give her that false feeling of euphoria. Most recovering drug addicts might advise her to simply take a breath, realize it's not "all about her," and have a piece of candy. But no, apparently Lindsay Lohan chooses to work out her feelings with incredibly huge amounts of idiocy.

Source:
"OMG" from Yahoo!
Personal opinion