Linkhorn's, Loud's and Johnson's

I got to know Bill Burroughs when he lived in Lawrence. From 1988 until his health declined in the late 90's I'd stop in to see him any time I got near Lawrence Kansas. I've always gotten along with old men. I don't mind if they tell the same stories on each and every visit or espouse seemingly crackpot ideas.

Initially I contacted Bill to talk about some lesser beat poets I was researching. He knew the people in question but had little to do with the west coast scene of the 60's and 70's. Bill always fancied himself a gun toting cowboy type, completely at home on the high plains. In reality he was a trust fund brat with intellectual leanings.

When I was younger I went to San Francisco to look up these lesser poets. By 1975 Lew Welch was already dead and the guy that answered the door of the San Francisco Zen Center told me that Philip Whalen was dead also. I believed this for nearly 15 years until Burroughs told me Phil Whalen was still very much alive and back in San Fran running the Hartford St. Zen Center. Bill thought it was Phil himself that told me he was dead. Joke's on me.

My favorite Burroughs theory involved the ethnography of the original American settlers. Bill always said Cabot's, Rockefeller's and Roosevelt's didn't matter a hoot that it was the crafts people, tradesmen and indenture workers that have formed the cultural fabric of America. His favorite groupings included Linkhorn's, Loud's and Johnson's. He swore he could spot them in a crowd anywhere in the country.

Linkhorn's are thin and rangy, the women tend to have pushed in faces. There's lot's of Linkhorn's in Texas, they made good cowboys. Unfortunately Linkhorn's have a propensity toward criminality, though the good one's are extremely hard working and some rise to greatness. Lincoln was a Linkhorn but so was Gary Gilmore and most of your Scots/Irish hillbilly types. Grifters, hobos and adventurers all fall into the group.

The Loud's are oversized and as the name suggests, vociferous. They make good politicians and ministers like Hughie Long and the T.V. minister John Hagee. The biggest problem with the Loud family is they are unbelievable. Their big ego's and blustery manners get in the way of the truth.

Johnson's are well built, handsome and hardworking. Lot's of athletes and actors are Johnson's. Problem with them is they aren't all that smart. A good Johnson makes a fine craftsperson or laborer but elect one president and you're in for trouble.

I miss talking with Bill. After he died I made friends with a neighbor at the lake, an old farmer who retired from the land at age 82. He was just as wily as old Bill and had great crackpot theories about how George Bush and the Republicans wanted to do away with all the old people. I'd ease his mind by saying, "Mr. Powell all the younger people want you gone." Mr. Powell got sick with a couple of cancers a few years back and when he became a burden he put a bullet in his brainpan. The year before we went into town and bought a .22 caliber pistol because I didn't want him blowing his head off with the shotgun or splattering brains all over with the deer rifle.

Now I've got my Dad, he's 89 and getting more interesting every year. Soon we'll all be old and maybe some young pup will come around and visit with me. I'm working on some grand speculations.