Listen to Your Children - a How To

Listening is an important part of parenting. There are some tricks to listening to children that will encourage conversation and help them listen and speak more clearly. Communication is an essential life skill. It simply does not happen by itself. If the goal is to have a child who communicates well, we need to listen in a correct format.

*Give eye contact to the child
Eye contact shows that the parent is listening. It also helps the child stay focused on the conversation at hand.

*Avoid interrupting the child
Patience is needed when listening to a child. It may take them a long time to deliver the information. Often a second child will have even more issues because older siblings often speak for them so they don't as much practice speaking. Please refrain from finishing their sentence. Wait, and let the words come to them.

*Show genuine interest
This is not always an easy task. If there is no real interest fake it. Ask followup questions. Even if the story has been repeated several times it is important that our children see and feel us listening. One wise grandmother reminded some young parents that if they wanted their children to listen to information about driving safely and other issues later in life, they need to listen to the children's stories and concerns the same number of times.

*Use reflective listening
Repeat back enough information so they know they are being heard and understood. Things like; "I am glad you had fun with Jenny." "Chocolate ice cream is good isn't it?" "I am sorry you hurt your hand."

*Full attention is important
Just as we teach our children not to interrupt conversations; we should not others to interrupt when the children are talking to us. Let the phone ring. Allow someone else to answer the door.

*Encourage children to give information to others
After the parent has listened to the story and expressed interest direct them to another party. They can relate their story and get different feedback. Let them know that their other parent and extended family may be interested in hearing the information as well.

*Move from pointing to speaking
When a child points to an object encourage the child to use some form of speech to convey the message. If we always speak for them or get the object, then they don't have to talk.

Think of the children as miniature adults in conversation and all should be well. Treat them with the respect and make them feel that during that conversation the world revolves around only them.