Little Billy and the Hadron Collider

Once upon a time there lived a curious little boy named Little Billy.

Little Billy was very inquisitive! That means that he wanted to know more about everything in his world.

Little Billy liked exploring. He especially liked exploring underground, near the border between France and Switzerland.

One day Little Billy was exploring underground near the border between France and Switzerland and he found a Hadron Collider.

It was very very large!

"Wow! This Hadron Collider is very large!" Little Billy exclaimed.

"That is right, Little Billy!" a nearby particle physicist said. "That is why we call it the Large Hadron Collider."

Little Billy was very excited. Finding a Large Hadron Collider was almost as exciting as finding a bullfrog.

"This Large Hadron Collider is very large!" Little Billy said. "I would guess that it's circumference is approximately 27 kilometers!"

"That is correct, Little Billy," the particle physicist said.

"What does the Large Hadron Collider do?" Little Billy asked. His eyes were wide with excitement.

"Well, I will tell you!" the particle physicist was overjoyed that Little Billy was curious about the Large Hadron Collider. "You see Little Billy, we particle physicists believe in something called 'The Standard Model'."

"I know what that is!" Little Billy Exclaimed. "I learned about The Standard Model in science class! The Standard Model describes the basic interactions of the particles that make up all forms of matter in the universe."

"That is correct, Little Billy!" said the particle physicist. "The Large Hadron Collider tests the limitations of The Standard Model. You see, under extremely high energy levels, The Standard Model is theorized to break down."

"Oh no! Is that bad?" Little Billy asked, frightened.

"Nobody knows!" the particle physicist said with a chuckle. "I know! I have an idea! We have finally cooled the collider down to it's operating temperature of 1.9 Kelvin."

"That's nearly absolute zero!" Little Billy exclaimed.

"That is correct! Now that we have reached this temperature, we are ready to use the Large Hadron Collider! All we have to do is push this button!" The particle physicist showed Little Billy a large control panel, covered in buttons. In the center was a large red button. Little Billy reached his hand out, and pushed the large red button.

There was a flash of light, and a large explosion. Kaboom! Little Billy was afraid. The whole room was filled with smoke. When the smoke cleared, Little Billy saw himself face to face with three real live Higgs Bosons!

"I have heard about you!" Little Billy yelled at the Higgs Bosons. "You are hypothetical scalar elementary particles! You have never been observed before!"

The King of the Higgs Bosons laughed. He was the largest and meanest of all three Higgs Bosons.

"You will not be able to observe me if I am taking over the world!" The King Higgs Boson laughed.

"We will not let you do that!" Little Billy shouted, using his best angry voice.

"But, Little Billy, there is no way we can stop the Higgs Boson!" the particle physicist said. "The Higgs Boson has never been observed! We do not know how to defeat it!"

"I think I know how!" Little Billy said. He looked back at the control panel, and found a tiny black button. He pushed it.

Right before his eyes, a micro black hole appeared, and swallowed up the Higgs Bosons.

"Thank you, Little Billy!" said the particle physicist. You saved the day!

"All in a days work," Little Billy said, while leaning against the control panel. Without realizing it, Little Billy pushed the button to unmake all of reality. In an instant, everything on Earth, everything in the universe, everything you, and I, and Little Billy had come to know and love, vanished in an instant.

"Oh, Little Billy!" the particle physicist said with a chuckle.

Everybody laughed, except God, for His will had been undone.

The End.