Living with an Abusive Partner

Living with an abusive partner is challenging. Now most will tell you to walk away and never look back. Indeed there are some situations where that is necessary and recommended. However, in many cases, a relationship can survive abuse.

What IS Abuse?

Just because he or she isn't hitting you and leaving bruises, does not mean that you are not a victim of abuse. Does he or she punch the wall? Does he or she stop you from leaving a room or the home? Does he or she, throw things while mad? All of these things are considered abuse by law. Even if the abuser is the one who pays the mortgage at the home or if he or she owns it free and clear, punching the wall that they own in a home in which you both live is considered abuse by law. The purpose of the law being so tough is an attempt to nip abuse in the bud before someone gets hurt or killed.

Does The Abuser Acknowledge That They Have A Problem And That Abuse Is Not Acceptable?

If the abuser recognizes that they have a problem and that the abuse is not appropriate, there is hope for them. They need to get into a treatment program to practice some exercises of self control. It would help if both you and the abuser enter some sort of program. This is to change their way of thinking.

Was There An Arrest?

If so, as much as this may cost, it was best. Between the cost of the court ordered anger management and/or domestic violence classes, the criminal record, and a night or two in jail and fines, the abuser is more likely to change his or her behavior.

Now don't get me wrong. There are exceptions. If the abuser is the type to not admit to themselves that they have a problem with abuse, no amount of classes or treatment will help them. They have to be able to admit and recognize that they have a problem with abuse and/or anger. Then and ONLY then can they take the steps to change their behavior.

I would say that if you were in a situation where the abuser beat your up severely, left bruises all over you and /or put you in the hospital, that is a situation where you need to get out of the relationship.

Anyway you look at it, it's not an easy thing to go through. Things can get better if the two of you are willing to work on things. Good luck.