Living with Alcoholism: Part One

Alcoholism is an ugly addiction that can rip apart any family. I want to create more awareness about this disease. Today, I present a family that has been severely affected by alcohol abuse. I gave them each a questionnaire to fill out that pertains to their thoughts and views about the specific alcoholism that they're exposed to. Unfortunately, I made their questionnaires way too long so I have decided to make this a five part series rather than try to jam everything into one article which then gets too long and prevents people from finishing it. I've known this family for almost three years now and have the privilege of being included like I was part of their little clan. They are wonderful people, but struggle with extremely broken relationships.

Their family consists of two teenaged sons, and the mother and father. To protect their identity as best as I can, I will refer to them through their initials. They're a very special family to me and I'd rather not do more harm than good by causing potential problems through revealing their names. The marriage between the parents has been in turmoil for years over this situation and they've dealt with huge financial hardships, but still they truck on. The children, no doubt, have been ruthlessly influenced by the rocky relationship of their parents. Also, they each face a different view and connection with their alcoholic parent. They are a family in need of help, and I hope I can provide something to their benefit.

D, the father, has an all-consuming addiction to alcohol, mostly beer. He is currently unemployed. An accident at work caused a shoulder injury that he now gets disability checks for. While some of that money goes to bills, a good chunk of it goes to his addiction. His dependency on booze has driven away his family in all aspects, which he is well aware of. D has few friends and spends a good deal of his days hiding in the garage. While D has never really done or said anything negative to me, he isn't particularly friendly or welcoming. In the time I've known the family his abuse to alcohol has gotten worse and worse.

N is the mother and the only female in a turbulent household. She struggles to keep the family together, financially by working at a company cafeteria. N suffers from high blood pressure as a result of the stress she constantly endures. However, she doesn't take things lying down. N is a force to be reckoned with and oversees everything that goes on in the house with an iron fist. She doesn't have the patience to deal with D anymore and is trying to get away from him. N is one of the strongest women I have ever met in my life and continues to prove her resilience day after day.

The oldest son, C, takes after his mother. At 19, he's had to grow up fairly quickly to help N out. He has a poor relationship with D as a result of D's substance problems. There is a distinct lack of respect on both sides. C is quick to jump into fights between his parents and take his mom's side. This causes much frustration on D's part as he struggles to get C to see him on a higher esteem, which is, of course, impossible given the situation. C gathers more and more independence as the weeks go by. He, too, wants to get away from his broken home and start a new life somewhere else.

A quiet soul is 14 year old J. As the youngest member of the household, he is often sheltered from a lot of the happenings amongst the family. He is a joy to be around, but his indifference to the family's problems can be worrying. J never reacts when his parents fight. Instead, he closes the door and turns up the volume on the stereo or TV. J is very shy around me at first, but quickly warms up and loves being in my presence to an almost obsessive degree. His relationship with his father is better than the others. I always get the feeling that J suffers from the situation as much as everyone else, but would prefer to deny the issue, and for that I believe he's very much behind, mentally, for a teenager.

For this article, I chose questions that would provoke the most personal of answers. I wanted to really drive home the point to readers of how much of an effect alcoholism causes. Though I was expecting such responses, when I received their questionnaires back I was so moved and so touched. They really put their hearts and souls into this. Please continue to read about their story in the rest of their articles.