Living with Autism: Why Can't You Accept Me as Me?

Why Can't You Accept Me As Me?
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As an Aspie, I can tell you outright that I really hate it when people start sticking pills at me and telling me if I would take them I'd be normal. You know what? I have no problem with who I am, I do not see any reason why I should change. I am different, yes. I know that, and have never denied it. I just want people to stop telling my to *be normal* or how nice it would be if I would *seek medical help*. I'd just like the whole pack of them to leave me alone . . . I don't need a bunch of Hitlers in my life telling me how to act, how to talk (which I don't and that pisses most people off), or anything else. I am not you, why do you expect me to act just like you do? I am not a clone. I am me.
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I am normal. Normal is what you were born as. Every one was born to be normal in their own way. Just because what is normal for me, is not normal for you, doesn't make it wrong or bad, or anything else. It just means that for me, normal is different than it is for you. Besides, when you start being rude and staring at me and trying to get me to stare at you, and rudely talking to me, when I didn't speak to your first, I look at you and think: "What the hell is wrong with this freak? Didn't any one ever teach them any manners? " If you had decent manners you would know it was rude to stare and rude to speak when not spoken to, and yet, here you are trying to make eye contact with me and talking your fool head off. You see, in my mind, it is you being weird and freaky and not acting normal, but do I try to poke pills at you or call you retarded? No. I don't do those things because I have the moral decency not to be rude.

I esp don't like people who walk up to you and say: "Why don't you answer me? What are you retarded?" I really, really, REALLY hate that. To be retarded you require an IQ of 70 or less. The average IQ is 90 - 100. Less than 3% of the population has an IQ above 130. Want to know what my IQ is? I'll tell you. It's 138. I'm about as far as you can get from being retarded, so don't call me retarded just because I don't talk or make eye contact.

I've been asked why I don't join any groups for people like me. I'm afraid I can't really comment on those groups because I'm not familiar with any of the autism groups. I'm not a busy body who needs constant gossip (what most people call socialization, I call rude gossiping). The way I see it, that's all those so-called groups are. A place to gossip and waste time. My time is better spent elsewhere.
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Of course, as the years went by, I have learned that I don't like being around people. I don't like to get involved in groups and such, because that means being around people and being out in public, both of which means there will be folks pestering me to talk and that'll lead to teasing, and I really don't want to deal with rude, cruel mouthed, mean people anymore so I rarely leave the house anymore. I used to try to be around people. I used to want to be around people. But there is just so many times you can call a person retarded, or schizoid, or crazy, before I finally, say: Why did I want to be around people when all people do is hurt me?
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People preach kindness and understanding and acceptance, but you'd be surprised how very few actually practice what they preach when they are forced to come face to face with someone like me.

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Copyright Info: The contents of this lens, are taken from the second draft of the book "For Fear of Little Men" by Wendy C. Allen, and reprinted here with permission.
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This article was originally published in October 2008 under the title Living With Asperger's Syndrome is copyright to Wendy C. Allen and The Twighlight Manor Press, and is reprinted here with permission.