Living with Bipolar Disorder: A Personal Account

When you hear any disorder, you might think someone is deathly ill or just crazy. When someone has a disorder like OCD, ADD or ADHD you think of twitching, perhaps retardation or even people that can't function without severe help from others. With someone who has a bipolar disorder, like myself, you would probably think that I couldn't carry a simple conversation without having mood swings or major temperaments. I can tell you first hand that these fantasy illusions of people with disorders are far from the truth.

We are everyday people just like you! The only difference is that we have to work twice as hard in order to maintain that "everyday people" personality that you see every day. I found out I was bipolar when I was just twelve years old. My parents noticed changes in my attitude doing everyday things. I suppose it was worse when I was a young child. I did not know what was happening to me, whereas now I can control my thoughts and emotions tons better then I use too. I take medication everyday to calm down the urges of outbursts, but it's getting enormously better over the years. Sometimes I can go a week without any quick mood changes and without taking hardly any medication.

Sometimes I will have random headaches. I'll be sitting in front of the computer, like you are now and my head will start hurting out of nowhere. The doctors said it has to do with my disorder and getting use to the new medication he prescribed. Sometimes I'll be in a mood to clean, I'll want to clean the walls, the kitchen, the bathroom-everything! Then all of a sudden I'll hate what I'm doing and just stop. Out of nowhere I'll just get this "what am I doing?" urges and just don't want to continue cleaning anymore.

There's nothing out of the ordinary about me at all! I take online classes to pursue a career in the business world. I have a loving boyfriend and great friends. My disorder hasn't kept me from doing all the things I always wanted to do. The only difference is I have to control my thoughts and actions more than everyone else does. But it keeps getting better. I hope one day I'll be almost cursed of my disorder and live without taking any medication at all. If not, I'm happy with the way I am. I know God made me a certain way for a reason, and I can't wait to see what he has in store for me.