Living with a Child with Cancer

Living with a child with cancer can present many challenges to a family. If there are siblings involved they may not be getting as much attention as previously and may feel jealous or slighted by all of the attention the cancer child is receiving. Working with the child to understand that the cancer child is very ill and needs more attention right now can help, as well as making sure to set aside time on a daily basis to spend with the sibling.

Sometimes this may mean enlisting the help of other family members or a good friend or neighbor. Other times you may need to involve a group or organization like Candlelighter's. Groups like Candlelighter's plan many events throughout the year that involve both the cancer child and their siblings. They even have groups that get together that are specifically for siblings.

Many support groups are available for both the sibling and the parents as well as the cancer child themselves. Teens get special events and proms that help make this time much easier to deal with. Encouragement is given frequently and is well received.

The daily struggles are compounded by rounds of chemo or radiation and well meaning friends that stop by but may have a cold. I actually had to put a sign on our door that stated, "If you are experiencing any of the following symptoms: fever, runny nose, sneezing, cold sores, coughing, flu or virus symptoms, please do not visit us at this time. A phone call would be welcome and appreciated. Thank you for your consideration." It was well received and people learned a lot about health by realizing how communicable even a runny nose could be.

My family stayed healthier and my child did not have to be rushed in after every chemo treatment due to catching a virus while her immune system was down. This saved us many trips to the hospital and was very stress relieving in the long run. Plus, we didn't feel like we had to entertain when we were already exhausted by all of the medical procedures we had been through with our child.

Even when in remission life does not settle down. There are still scans to be done and other health issues that can crop up. You are still at the ready at the drop of a hat for an emergency hospital trip! Often times there are residual medical issues that will crop up from time to time and require further medical treatments. School nurses and officials to be made aware of possible residual health issues and the desire to be normal. In our family we try to keep things as normal as possible.

We explain to the older siblings that we love them and would've done all of this for them had it been their illness. We work hard to keep life as normal as possible and involve them in helping their sibling adjust to life outside of the hospital and learning to play and be a kid again. The challenges can be endless but the rewards are immeasurable.