Living with Crohn's Disease and Colitis: A Guide for Family and Friends

As a person who has an almost daily struggle with this condition, I sometimes, especially in the early days of my relationship, found it hard to express my needs to have as much as a "normal" life as possible. While most times I am severely restricted in the day's activities (and distances from home I can travel,) with a little compassion, insight, and understanding, family members and friends of people who suffer from Colitis and Crohn's can help better the quality of life for the person who needs their patience, and at times, help.

First, sometimes we don't always know when we are going to be ill. Speaking from personal experience, many days I will start the day off with good intentions, as I really do want to be able to venture out from the house and not always be a "prisoner," however, within minutes, even hours sometimes, we can get an attack that needs immediate attention. By this, if someone with Colitis or Crohn's tells you that they need to go home, it really translates to "I need to go home, like now!"

If we are able to go out, have you ever noticed that we dress funny? Personally, I tend to wear jeans that are at least one size bigger for me and shape wear with them. Not because of my large backside, but sometimes, right before I have an attack, I can appear to gain at least four inches in the waist of my jeans. For example, when normal, I can make two fists and fit them in my waistband, however, when an attack is coming, I can barely zip those jeans up. Also, I tend to dress warmer than I should because sometimes cold temperatures or a general feeling of being cold can really set me off. So, if the loved one in your life tends to dress funny, they are not really weird, they are just trying to dress in a style that works best to accommodate their condition.

Finally, we may "hibernate" sometimes. You see, it is hard to explain, but when we are ill with an attack, it sometimes will happen multiple times during the day, and last for days at a time. After a few times, a person can feel exhausted and "wiped out." I get so tired that I need to go to sleep and get some rest. The best way I can describe it is the feeling you get after working an eight hour day on the job. In addition to feeling tired, we may also tend to drink a lot of water or other beverages. With the constant trips to the restroom, a person can lose a lot of fluids and need to replenish them. That, itself, poses another problem, the need for frequent trips to the restroom again, this time for "number one."

To sum it all up, the best way you can help someone who has Crohn's or Colitis is to listen to their needs, anticipate the worst and be prepared for it. Try to provide comfort and understanding, just as you would want someone to care for you if you, yourself, were ill. Having this condition already limits many people's abilities for normalcy, however, if you try to make someone's life as normal as possible by alternate means (rent a movie instead of going to the movies, bring some library books over on their favourite subject instead of going to the book store, plan an outing close to the person's home, ask how a person is feeling that day prior to making plans), it will definitely brighten their day.

***Note*** These are personal experiences shared by the author. A person's actual needs and condition may be affected by their type and progression of this condition, medication and its effectiveness, and how open or not a person is about their condition.