Living with Depression for Years

I know how it feels to have depression. In fact, I have known for quite some time. At one time, I did not realize I was depressed and had been for possibly most of my life. Something happened when my daughter was suffering through a bout with cancer (of which she had many), and she had come to New Mexico to be with us until she died. This was one of the worst times of my life.

Then one day I was not feeling as 'down' as I had been lately, although her pending death was on my mind constantly. After lunch that day, I suddenly became very ill. There was no reason for how I felt. I lay on my bed and kept crying, and soon after I lost my lunch. My husband became quite concerned, and took me to our doctor. The doctor checked my vital signs and talked to me at length. Of course, I told him about my daughter, and that she had come to be with us until her life ended. Then he told me he thought I was depressed, and he would prescribe an antidepressant, which should make me feel better soon.

The doctor prescribed serotonin, which is a vital enzyme that my brain was not producing in large enough quantities. He further told me that seeing my daughter suffering as she was added to the trauma of not producing enough serotonin. He told me he had seen a lot of patients who became physically ill because of a lack of this vital enzyme. The doctor made it clear that I was not mentally ill, but that I was suffering from a lack of serotonin.

We went straight to the drugstore on the way home and had the serotonin prescription filled. It took awhile for the serotonin to make me feel better, but it happened gradually. After a few weeks, I began to realize I was happier than I had been in years. It seemed I had always been unhappy, down and I lost my temper easily, even with those I loved.

As time passed, I would think back through the years and remember, or envision, events that caused me to be reprimanded by my parents. I came to understand that those actions or events were caused by my depression. I can still remember when I was in second grade in elementary school that I became angry at my sister; I was throwing things without a reason or provocation. Now, I think of that and believe that I might have been born with a lack of serotonin, or it might have begun in my childhood years. I also know that my life could have been much better and happier if I had known back then. This enzyme is also helpful if one is plagued with anxiety, and I notice that is not a problem now. I still take serotonin once each day, and I am living a happy and fulfilled life.

My daughter did recover completely after several years of cancer that would disappear and then start in another part of her body. The only way this could have been ended totally was through a miraculous healing.

Sources:

Personal experience