Living With Fibromyalgia

Living with Fibromyalgia is not easy. Some people think it's all in your mind. I'm here to tell you that their wrong. Living with Fibromyalgia is hard you constantly hurt.

I first came out of work to have a heart Catherization at the age of 34. While I was out and trying to recuperate I started hurting really-really bad. I couldn't stand to be touched; I thought something was wrong from the Catherization.

I would cry at the least little touch. I couldn't stand to be hugged. I didn't want my fiancé to move when we were trying to sleep. I thought I was losing my mind. I went to one doctor after another till I found one who finally told me what was wrong. He diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. For those of you who don't know what Fibromyalgia is I will try to explain it to you. It is a disorder causing aches and tiredness:a disorder causing aching muscles, sleep disorders , and fatigue, associated with raised levels of the brain chemicals that transmit nerve signals neurotransmitters. At this point and time there is no cure.

To me it feels like having a really bad case of the flu all the time. I have my good days and my bad days. On a bad day or sometimes bad days I don't want to be touched. I don't want anyone to hug me. I can't sleep till I'm exhausted to the point my body says enough is enough. It may be a few days before I sleep. A lot of times I can't go to sleep till my fiancé has gone to work because I can't handle him moving in the bed.

I can't let my kids hug me sometimes which is really hard on them and me. I get really depressed at times and don't want anyone around me. It's hard to explain to people that when they touch you even if it's lightly that it hurts. They say "I didn't touch you that hard" but no matter what they say your body says different.

I have trouble doing my daily chores like washing clothes, doing dishes, making my bed anything. I can hardly stand up for more than 15 minutes at a time without being tired or starting to hurt. I have moments where I can't move my toes on my right foot or even move it. I I have little to no feeling from my waist to my knees. This makes me have to use a cane or a walker.

I have what they call brain fog. I can't remember what day it is sometimes, I tell the kids to put the dishes in the stove instead of the sink. I can't remember what things are called. One time I couldn't remember how to get home. I called my fiancé crying begging him to tell me how to get home.

I feel like I'm more of a burden then anything to my family. What good am I, if I can't work and enjoy life like I use to. The doctors have given me several different medicines. I am currently on Lyrica and Percocet for the Fibromyalgia along with about 26 others for different health problems related to it. If I take the Lyrica and Percocet like I'm supposed to 3 times a day I can't function and because of that I failed my drug tests for not having It in my system like I should.

I am seeing five different doctors. They are my Fibromyalgia Specialist, Primary Care Physician, Rheumatoid Arthritis Physician, Psychiatrist and my Neurologist. The first three are doctors with Carolina Specialty Care. They all know what the other is giving so they all try to help me in their own way to deal with the pain.

Fibromyalgia is hard to deal with and at one time or another I thought death would be a better then all this pain, then I realized my kids and fiancé need me no matter what. They don't care if I can't always do things with them as long as I'm here for them. I may not be able to give my kids everything they want especially with Christmas coming up but I can give them what they need.

On a good day or good days I'm able to clean do my chores, enjoy being with my kids and not thinking I'm losing my mind. I have days where I can get my housework done. I actually get to sleep while my fiancé is in the bed with me. All of this is normally the same time each month which can last a day or two sometimes a week. I know that I will pay for it later though.

This is one disease that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I have tried twice already to get my disability but with no luck. The disability doctor seemed to think I could get a job where I could take a break every 15 minutes. I don't know what job that would be. My doctors told me I wouldn't be going back to work. I can't walk into a store without my cane and without hurting so what makes her think I can work a full time job.

I hope that this will help some of you better understand what Fibromyalgia is and what it's like to live with it on a daily basis. If someone you love or know has Fibromyalgia please be patient with them.